A week beginning with using delicate implements whilst nude and ending with the Germans. This can only go well. 10) Spooktacular Planner Switch Meet 6th October A swap exchange! You know, like your mum used to do? How long has it been since you called her? She only birthed...
Scrub your tongue and drizzle some lube down your throat, Melbourne. We're cramming all kinds of intellectual and cultural appreciation down you this week. 10) Juice Fair 2nd October No, it's not an orgy. There are no euphemisms here. Because people who like euphemisms generally possess some kind of...
You spent Labour Day removing a large section of your capacity for intellect and culture via whisky, Sydney. Time to make reparations. 10) Puppets with Personality! 2nd October Yes. They have personalities now. We're doomed. Let your child create their own puppet with real tools and then as soon...
You can leave your formal ascot at home, Melbourne. The winter's gone and we're out for blood. 10) Archibald Prize Geelong Gallery Excursion 25th Sep Yes, you've heard of this one before. But we've got one little thing to add. There's food, there's liquor, and there's an actual reason...
The winter's gone and the heat is coming. Throw out the Dettol and get ready to fester Sydney. Sorry - festival. There's a lot of festivals. And Dettol can often be harmful to your delicate skin. 10) Bohemian Harbour: Artists of Lavender Bay 1st Sep-25th Nov Ahh Lavender Bay....
Wait, Brisbane! We promise. It gets better. Don't believe us? We've had to use the word beer twice...
Better start preparing your statement with your layer now, Melbourne. It'll be nigh impossible not to get tongue-tied this week. 10) Psych Society goes to MoMa! 17th Sep Psychology students? Modern art? What's not to Instagram here? You'll be riding this one for weeks. https://on.com.au/search/events/Psych-Society-goes-to-MoMa!/1944fe20-b9f8-11e8-b14f-a713526e5192 9) Yarn and Fibre Festival 22nd Sep Sounds...
Comb your hair, gel your face, Sydney. That'll make the things your other appendages will be doing this week seem...
The exits are located here, here and here, Melbourne. So wave goodbye to your familial and financial death-hole of an existence, because we're talking you on a spontaneous cultural bender round the world. 10) Behind The Lines 18th Aug-15th Sep Ah yes. Politics. Look, you have to face...
Sit down and shut up, Sydney. For we here at oncomau believe talking in a movie theatre justifies the re-introduction of capital punishment. 10) Blackmores Half Marathon 16th September Yes, you read right, you ailing pile of human sausage meat. It's time once again to strap your various limbs...