Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 23/09/2018
You can leave your formal ascot at home, Melbourne. The winter’s gone and we’re out for blood.
10) Archibald Prize Geelong Gallery Excursion
Yes, you’ve heard of this one before. But we’ve got one little thing to add. There’s food, there’s liquor, and there’s an actual reason beyond requisite insecurity-induce pretension to actually visit the Archibald prize collection.
9) Kpop Boot Camp Australia Showcase
Deadly physical harassment? Rampant abuse of plastic surgery? Fan letters in human bodily fluids? All wrapped up in diabetes-inducing saccharine? What’s not to idolise?
8) Juggling Convention
28th Sep-1st Oct
Okay…we know this is a hard sell, but come on. Big flappy clown pants will allow you to strap on a hell of a lot of whisky. …Can you imagine how hilarious this thing will be?
7) Aware: On the Inside Exhibition Celebration
As drunks and resultant veterans of our own bodily functions we’ve never so powerfully idenitified with an exhibition title. Come celebrate the opening night of this project that “explore(s) and express(es) issues of identity, mental health and social activism“.
6) Tembo Awakening Market
Here it is, folks, our weekly event for you to uh ‘misplace’ your children! Okay, we know it sounds horrible, but it’s the organisers fault. “If you are looking for guidance, healing or relaxation then this is the market for you!“. Frankly, we can’t think of a better path towards all three of those things.
5) Tromba Latin Fiesta – Carnaval
Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t associate the Grand Final with a Latin Fiesta? Only crazy people and mormons we assume. That’s right the perfectly normal way to celebrate the Grand Final – a night of Reggaeon, Bachata and Salsa will ring in the Grand Final. In all the ways you’d expect.
4) Critical Mass
No, don’t worry. No one’s seen the contents of your shower drain. It’s….normal to have that much hair in those kinds of places. No, this is a Melbourne-wide explosion of live performance, film and visual arts for the Melbourne Fringe.
3) Jamie Oliver’s Learn Your Fruit and Veg at Royal Melbourne Show
Remember this guy? The one who’s entire identity is based on being a folksy boy from the school of the English version of Hard Knocks? We’ll he’s flying first class to the Royal Melbourne Show for for a half an hour to teach your children how to put tomatoes on toast.
2) Oktoberfest at East of Everything with Grand Final Day Party
25th Sep-4th Oct
Yeah, but so what? It’s not really violative cultural appropriation if you’re doing it to the Germans. A week of festivities, including a Grand Final celebration, drunken debauchery and all the Kummerspeck you can cram down your Innerer Schweinehund.
1) Free ‘Blood Vessel’ Test Screening
Well, this is Australia. So thanks to the bloody government, blood’s always free. This time, however, you’re getting a cookie and you don’t have to open your own veins. A free test screening of a new horror film Blood Vessel at Backlot Studios.