Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 16/09/2018

Better start preparing your statement with your layer now, Melbourne. It’ll be nigh impossible not to get tongue-tied this week.


10) Psych Society goes to MoMa!

17th Sep

Psychology students? Modern art? What’s not to Instagram here? You’ll be riding this one for weeks.!/1944fe20-b9f8-11e8-b14f-a713526e5192


9) Yarn and Fibre Festival

22nd Sep

Sounds riveting doesn’t it? No, we weren’t being sarcastic. We’ve seen you Melbourne. We’ve seen your fibrous souls. As in…we’ve seen you non-geriatric people actually knitting. Sometimes we do miss the days wherein groups of youths would gather to take drugs or conspire against institutions of civil stability rather than knit themselves a snazzy tea cosy. But then we remember, we’re going to die soon and we won’t have to look at you anymore.


8) Youth Innovation Festival

21st Sep

With a virtual reality hub, a bean bag panel discussion, gadget giveaways, competitions, startup clubs, workshops and classes for you to meet employers and discuss opportunities, you might as well start shifting some of your channels to Switzerland. That future cocaine habit isn’t going to hide itself, you hip young go-getter.


7) .ink Exhibition

20th Sep

Make your mark. Well, not you, obviously, you talentless hack. You sit in the audience, gulp your intoxicant and be privy to the exhibition of the young artists from the Academy of Information Technology.


6) Hughsey LIVE at Publican!

17th Sep

Like brash gap-toothed comedy substitutes riding on the already far over-used comedic crutch of an exaggerated bogan accent? We don’t! But this guy’s clearly got some kind of appeal, so who are we to rule him out?!/a4f333b0-b9f8-11e8-b14f-a713526e5192


5) Cuisine Discovery Dinner at Annam

19th Sep

Join an acclaimed chef from Vietnam and she attempts to disabuse you of some of your cultural ignorance the only way you seem to be able to take, Melbourne: food.


4) Moonee Ponds 3039 2nd Annual Progressive Dinner

19th Sep

A culinary experience over 5 different restaurants. Ah. It’s so much easier to not feel like a mass of pure gluttonous excess when your gorging is spread out over 5 different venues.


3) Gertrude Street Projection Festival MiNi

21st & 22nd Sep

Two nights only, Melbourne, a the darkness will be lit (you know aside from by neon porn store signs and light pollution spewing shopping centres and stadiums) by the street projection festival – a ten year old festival featuring interactive light shows and animation projected all over Atherton gardens.


2) Melbourne Moon Lantern Festival

22nd Sep

Ah, yes. We so oft berate you for your cultural ignorance, Melbourne, but, you know, this time, forget it. It’s Chinatown. You know the drill as much as you’re ever going to know it. So come on down to Chinatown for a day of Chinese celebrations including traditional dance, workshops market stalls and a lantern parade.


1) Oktoberfest

22nd September

Yeah, but so what? It’s not really violative cultural appropriation if you’re doing it to the Germans. A night to welcome Melbourne’s Oktoberfest with all the requisite drunken debauchery and Kummerspeck you can cram down your Innerer Schweinehund.

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