Top 10 Sydney Culture On this week 09/09/2018
Sit down and shut up, Sydney. For we here at oncomau believe talking in a movie theatre justifies the re-introduction of capital punishment.
10) Blackmores Half Marathon
Yes, you read right, you ailing pile of human sausage meat. It’s time once again to strap your various limbs into what feels like whatever kept Hannibal contained and drag your feet through the Blackmores Half Marathon.
9) Ralph Kerle’s Berlin Exhibition Opening
Ich bin ein Berliner. If you didn’t read that in JFK’s voice then you should know it makes zero grammatical sense. But, thankfully for you, Ralph Kerle’s exhibition opening with a live feed from the actual Berlin Art Exhibition does not require you to possess any foreign language grammatical prowess.
8) Chin Chin Curry Club
Chin chin! Said the British as they steamrolled across India. And so, too, can you engage in the most delicious results of cultural rape and misappropriation at the Curry Club!
7) Incubate Artists Studios Launch
This one’s been gestating for a while and it’s time for this baby to burst forth – a participatory hands-on artistic group engaging in mask-making, instrument building and music-making will be…making itself all over the streets of Bankstown in a one-hour street concert.
6) Unspoken Words Festival
Shhhhhh…ut up. It’s time you cleaned out your deaf hear and gave your vocal chords the night off, for this interactive art installation featuring the descriptor “In a world where tradition is everything, betrayal tears family apart. Zainab, the eldest daughter of Roula and Ahmed Mansour, has left. Out of the shattered pieces comes three different stories, three different truths and three different futures,” will provide that little bit of ignorance-shedding contemporary art…whereupon you can go back to blinding all but your base senses to the true horror of the world and screaming constantly just to shut out the madness.
5) Sigma Art Lens Shoot Experience
You’re a filthy, perverted voyeur. Well, if you’re going to something wrong, you might as well do it with top of the line equipment. Come and shot the latest Sigma Art lenses. Bring your camera and experience the difference in quality brought by lenses powerful enough to capture open windows from two buildings over.
4) University of Sydney Book Fair
Calling all hipsters – oh wait. Sorry, this is usyd. You’re already there, aren’t you? Yes, the usyd rare old book fair is once again adjusting its monocle and judging you for not as of yet owning that copy of the old man and the sea covered in Hemingway’s real whisky sweat and skin flakes.
3) Alliance Française Classic Film Festival
Sex, black and white, nihilism, sex, sex, sex. By virtue of your bowler hat, you already know at least the vague characteristics of classic French Cinema…and how well it plays on Instagram. So. allons-y! Allons-y!
2) Latin American Film Festival
Echando la hueva. Nope. get off your lazy ass and grease yourself for a cultural deep-dive. A festival of the newest on the latin american scene in which you won’t have to feel that ignorance-caused shrivelling moment of middle class anxiety when you’re actually asked to comment on any issues facing the latin american people.
1) Sydney Underground Film Festival Opening Night Party
The freaks are here and they’ve brought cameras. Because these days, recording evidence is simply a matter of necessity. That’s right. The SUFF is opening themselves up to you, and you better make sure you wear protection.