Take your multivitamins, Sydney. You'll need every last molecule of physiological responsibility to compensate for this week. We hope you listened to your mother and ate your green vegetables. Otherwise we're not sure you'll survive. 10) DIVA Party 28th July Crack out those moulding fetid mistakes of your...
From eco-warrior to 80s scrape to drunken gourmand; we expect this'll be first week you end constipated, face down drunk in fish net stockings, reeking of moral pride. But certainly not the last. Not if we have anything to do with it. 10) Beat The Bottle 22nd...
Yeah, yeah we know. It’s permanent, you’ll regret it. Blah, blah, blah. But, you know. They’ll probably discover some kind of chemical in tattoo ink that causes cancer in about 5 years or so, so it’s not like any of us will live long enough for that hot mermaid...
Let’s have a lovely lunch in the park. Yeah don’t worry. With the advent of smart phones everything’s tolerable and with the burgeoning acceptance of obesity, so is spending 5 straight hours touring the food trucks that’ll be present. To compensate, there’ll be dog walking, tree top climbing,...
Vive la France! Ahh, the ol’ locker room. Steady on. There's no need to fear, there’ll be adequate security and absolutely no blowback benefit from a potential scandal. And what better way to celebrate a French soccer victory than tiny shorts, huge shot glasses and the language of music. No...
Give the finger to your soul and mind, Brisbane. This week is all about your guts, your butts and your burning subdermal flesh. 10) Carbs with the Kings of Rock n Roll 19th July Ahh, Elvis, the king of rock and idol to thousands. Well, what are you waiting...
A storm's coming, Melbourne. Better Instagram as many pictures of yourself looking pensive at a range of different galleries now so at least you'll die an 'intellectual'. 10) Creative Collaborations Conference 20th July Exploring creative diversity and indigenous culture in the VET sector. Yeah. You can chalk this...
Oil those guns and snap that latex-swaddled posterior, Melbourne. The only thing loose about this week is the moral code. 10) One Year of Pranava! 21st July Oh, how sweet! It's their anniversary. And you're invited! Sure, psychedelic electronica is an odd theme choice for an anniversary but,...
Hogs, princesses, stimulants and sex. It's like a fairytale. 10) The Duchess Effect 21st July Puff up that brisket! Archaic notions of the staunchest sexism are on their way out. But, fear not. For that is how all great fetishes are born! A day of etiquette training proudly supported...
Clear the goal; free your soul; slick the pole. Ah, Sydney. It's going to be a good 'un. 10) The Club - Horizon 14th July It's a good life - no more. Face it. But there are things on the horizon, as long as we stare hard enough. In...