Prison. A twisted, morally complex place mired in a millennia of institutional corruption, vicious money-grubbing and inherent recidivism that targets the most weak and tortures them until death. Who needs a drink? We know we do. That's why we'll be going to the Bitter & Twisted Boutique Beer Festival...
We assume he's so happy because he's one of the few refugees who are still alive. He's the H&M of comedians. Inoffensive, family-friendly, largely appealing, incredibly wealthy and with some markedly troubling associations with minorities, depending upon with whom you're speaking. He's Anh Do. He's the happiest refugee, though...
A disruption of inherent sense. No, it's not trying to figure out how to buy a certain amount of mandarins from Woolworths and being faced with an indolent self-service machine. This will make you laugh as opposed to making you feel capable of murder. This is Carl Barron. There...
Wangarratta. The rose of Victoria In that a rose may be visually pleasing, cared for by racist grandmothers yearning for death, smells at the very best disheartening and the name suggests something that makes you feel vaguely uncomfortable as to its referential history. As such, it has spit...
There's bound to be an incredible percussive display featuring knocking noises to distract you from the fact that there'll be no liquor. This is "Australia's most idyllic coastal music festival". Well, that's certainly a bold claim. Clearly they've felt that the noises we've made puking into the sea...
Clean out your hidey holes, Brisbane. Paul Kelly's coming and he deserves some goddamn respect. 10) Noosa Triathlon Multi Sport Festival 31st October-4th November Look at you. You broken down collection of vices. Won't it be fun to sit there, eating a glob of fat, drinking an intoxicant and...
Air. Form. Space. Movement. Get ready to question the bounds of reality as you try not to claw your own eyeballs out during a lecture on experimental art. 10) The Photographic Art of Brett Sixtysix 2nd November Formerly known as 'The 4th Density Entity', the photographer is holding...
Stretch your leather lungs and wet your fork with gin. The baron and the earl are arriving in town and they've got a thing for the blues. 10) TwoSpace at Co-Ground Launch Party 1st November Ah, yes. Just what Melbourne needs right now. Another bloody cafe that feels the...
Get ready to laugh, Sydney. Taylor Swift is here. On an unrelated note, there's a couple of world-famous comedians and a dragon. 10) Women In STEAM with The Studio 1st November Boy, they've really not thought that title through considering the wrong way in which it could be interpreted...
Beer? Dragons? A whole roasted pig? Taylor Swift should just stop trying. She'll never be able to top what's going on this week. 10) AAC//107: Instrumental (adj.) and HELU 1st November Not just the way your annoying friend pronounces the word 'Hello' on the phone in an attempt to...