Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 28/10/2018

Air. Form. Space. Movement. Get ready to question the bounds of reality as you try not to claw your own eyeballs out during a lecture on experimental art.


10) The Photographic Art of Brett Sixtysix

2nd November

Formerly known as ‘The 4th Density Entity’, the photographer is holding an exhibition of his latest work. As as we all know, contemporary artists who can’t resist rebranding and renaming themselves every bloody two weeks are clearly not seeking attention, nor are they desperately trying to cover up for the fact that their bodies of work are woefully pedestrian.


9) Upcycled from the City Streets Exhibition

28th October

A collaboration between an metal sculptor and a painter. Nope, this isn’t the one of the most creative robot wars ever, and the painter doesn’t paint with the blood of their defeated enemy. No, this is an exhibition of two artists’ work who collectively find inspiration from Melbourne’s junk heaps.


8) #MelbWriteUp 

3rd November

A focused day of writing for all you intellectuals, screen-writers, budding authors and general bastards following the pomodoro method, which breaks up work into 25 minute intervals in the attempt to maximise efficiency and creative output. Because if there’s one thing everyone knows about writers it’s their dedication to efficiency.


7) Classical Heroes, Contemporary Hunters Exhibition

2nd November

A sculpture exhibition featuring the notion of nostalgia triggers in the everyday. You know, like that time you were walking through Elizabeth Park on a young Spring evening, suddenly caught a scent of the homeless heroin-addict peeing on a dead pigeon and you were transported back to your childhood and your mother telling you to that Uncle Jerry was coming to visit for Sunday lunch.


6) Explorations of Air: Curator’s Talk 

1st November

Okay, stay with us. This may sound like the paragon of ridiculously meaningless experimental art, and it absolutely is. What? Were you expecting us to go somewhere else with this?’s-Talk-with-Malte-Wagenfeld-and-Jane-Burry/79c0a1e0-d89e-11e8-b14f-a713526e5192


5) Roundtable: Form. Space. Movement.

30th October

A roundtable discussing the intersection of form, space and movement in contemporary art practice. So, wax your moustache, polish up that pretentious beret that suits no one’s face shape and learn as many synonyms for ‘passé’ as you can.


4) Mosaic Festival

28th October

As in cultural mosaic. Not those terrible pieces of so called art which start with the only worthwhile part of the process – getting to smash tacky plates against a wall. The QV market will feature live music, dance, arts and crafts to celebrate the cultural melting pot of women in Melbourne.


3) Carl Barron: Drinking With A Fork

3rd November

We’re not proud to admit it, and we understand the inherent blending of structure and random happenstance that informs this gentlemen’s comedic style, but we have, in our past attempted to drink various concoctions with the aid of a fork. In our defence, we felt it a more elegant way of fishing out those damn martini olives from the bottom of the glass.


2) Bill Bailey: Earl of Whimsy

2nd November

Genius, polymath, virtuoso, comedian, and the longest haired bald man will be foraging for nuts and berries on stage.


1) Wangaratta Jazz and Blues Festival

2nd-4th November

It’s not said often enough that Australia has and continues to produce a brilliant vat of musicians. And nowhere is this better exemplified than the cathedral city of Wangaratta. Home of the genius Nick Cave, who exemplified the town’s brilliance perfectly when he stated that the “horrible” town, where the police “made everyone’s life a f-ing misery” inspired his artistic vision. What do you expect? It’s the home of brilliant blues, postpunk and jazz. You want cloying songs by pop princesses? F-k off to California.

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