Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 28/10/2018

Stretch your leather lungs and wet your fork with gin. The baron and the earl are arriving in town and they’ve got a thing for the blues.


10) TwoSpace at Co-Ground Launch Party

1st November

Ah, yes. Just what Melbourne needs right now. Another bloody cafe that feels the need to employ people who talk far too much about specific coffee beans. Which is to say, they talk about it. But, you know, this time, there’ll also be alcoholic beverages. It’ll pay off for at least one night.


9) Global with Kolombo

2nd November

Don’t hum that tune. We know the one you’re thinking of. But we’re taking you to Belgium, here, not geriatric Los Angeles. Yes, Global welcomes a Belgian DJ who will be filling Brown Alley with the finest in progressive house music.


8) Melbourne Spring Fashion Rendez-Vous

28th October

Ahh, it’s finally over. But don’t whip off that training corset yet, fashionistas, and don’t you dare eat a piece of bread, because you have one final night of fashion parades, headpieces, boutique fashion and beauty stalls, and the slight light-headedness that comes with not being able to properly breathe for a month in that training corset.


7) INSTASIS Presents: Archivist (US/secondnature/BleeD)

2nd November

A visceral, palatial and cavernous sound producer from Seattle will be vibrating your spleen and making you realise why Seattle has never really been famous for its experimental music.


6) Junipalooza

28th October

Juniper, Juniper, lilacs in her hair. Is she sleeping? I don’t think so. But she will be soon if she continues to get tanked on artisan gin. Is she’s breathing? Oh god. We should probably check, shouldn’t we?


5) Leather Lungs

1st November

Nope, not the newest form of healthcare for those with breathing problems proposed by the Australian Prime Minister, whoever the hell that is right now, rather an explosive cabaret performance of the music of musical icons such as Queen and Prince by a man “with the face of a cherub, a voice to die for and the mind of a gutter rat”.!/9c6b2c40-d89b-11e8-b14f-a713526e5192


4) Bendy Rainbow 

2nd November

Well, okay. We know. Rainbows are naturally bendy, so there’s a redundancy there. Luckily, redundancies in sentence structure is not really the focus here. An all-inclusive queer house party will feature disco, boogie, electro, live performances. They’ve got “the disco ball polished, smoke machine filled, and the poppers chained to the decks“.


3) Carl Barron: Drinking With A Fork

3rd November

We’re not proud to admit it, and we understand the inherent blending of structure and random happenstance that informs this gentlemen’s comedic style, but we have, in our past attempted to drink various concoctions with the aid of a fork. In our defence, we felt it a more elegant way of fishing out those damn martini olives from the bottom of the glass.


2) Bill Bailey: Earl of Whimsy

2nd November

Genius, polymath, virtuoso, comedian, and the longest haired bald man will be foraging for nuts and berries on stage.


1) Wangaratta Jazz and Blues Festival

2nd-4th November

It’s not said often enough that Australia has and continues to produce a brilliant vat of musicians. And nowhere is this better exemplified than the cathedral city of Wangaratta. Home of the genius Nick Cave, who exemplified the town’s brilliance perfectly when he stated that the “horrible” town, where the police “made everyone’s life a f-ing misery” inspired his artistic vision. What do you expect? It’s the home of brilliant blues, postpunk and jazz. You want cloying songs by pop princesses? F-k off to California.

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