Top 10 things On in Brisbane this week 26/01/2020
Roast a cow to save a koala. It’s a magical time to be alive.
10) Technicolour Chinese New Year Night Market
What: The Multicultural Community Centre is hosting its annual Chinese New Year Night Market! Enjoy local performers, workshops showcasing aspects of Asian culture and amazing food trucks and stalls. You can also test your luck with a fortune wheel where you could win prizes generously donated by local businesses or guarantee yourself a win while browsing handcrafted wares made by craftsmen and women from the Brisbane region.
Why: Consumerism: providing trinket-based evidentiary support in the defence monologue of every racist grandmother.
9) Story Party Tour
What: At Story Party you will hear true dating stories that will make you feel better because, let’s be honest, it could be worse. Story Party has played to sold out audiences in over 65 countries because the dating struggle is real worldwide! You’ll hear stories from professional storytellers and some brave audience members.
Why: Your most exhausting, melodramatic, whiny friend is now charging entry fees for their s**tshow.
8) Sludge on the Seas III
What: It’s on again! With not one but two huge interstate acts onboard, this sea-faring hard dirty death metal show is going to be an event of EPIC PROPORTIONS. Evening fireworks on the river will make this an even more spectacular showcase of raw Australian talent. Featuring: Sumeru, Evil Eye, Coffin Wolf and Fumarole.
Why: STAND AND SCREAM IN VIOLENT ECSTASY ATOP A PILE OF FLAMING HUMAN ORGANS WHILST ANALLY VIOLATING A CORPSE on the charming all-weather Brisbane Paddle Wheeler, known for its bright red decorative paddle on the stern, fully equipped with sparkling facilities and excellent ventilation.
7) Australia Day Cockroach Races
What: Like any great Aussie Race Day the Cockroach Races (now in year 37) provide a sporting arena and dedicated stadium seating and corporate boxes for the races so you can participate in each race in style and everyone can enjoy the fun festival atmosphere. Come down to enjoy an awesome day long street party including live music on the street stage with Australian artists Aussie Boogaloo, The Joyners, Mira and more, DJs, eats from Abbioco, SBH Catering, as well as everything the Story Bridge Hotel has to offer. The Cockroach Races are HUGE with everyone getting the chance to get their cocky into the Hall of Fame. Three of the biggest draw cards of the day are: The Best Team Costume Competition for teams ($2,000 prize), the Miss Cocky Competition ($200 prize) and the BBQ Cook Off ($1,000 prize). The first race scurries off at 12noon, launching a jam-packed program of 14 races, including a steeple chase.
Why: A delightful reminder that no matter how mindless and small the animal, humans will always find a way to kill it, race it and monetise it.
6) Sunday Subterfuge Australia Day Party
What: Get set for the biggest event at Limes Hotel in the modern era. Coinciding with Australia Day, see Australia’s first appearance of Canada’s up and coming DJ: Jordan Gill wilth his silky dark progressive and melodic techno tunes. Supporting Jordan will be DJ Keiko, Paul Millar, Eamonn, 4G and Glutton with a range of the latest underground house, progressive, melodic, techno and disco. When the rest of Brisbane has gone to sleep for the weekend, one venue rises from the dust and reclaims it’s former glory. Chilled and deep until dusk sipping cocktails, and then Brisbane’s finest underground house, disco, progressive and techno will explode under the moon and stars. Recharge your batteries in readiness for the week with wicked tunes delivered with acoustic prowess.
Why: If this is the way in which you recharge your batteries, perhaps consider shoving a couple of electrodes deep into your ear canals and just going to town on yourself. The effect is the same and the sound won’t bother the rest of us as much.
5) Melt featuring Atish (Bushfire Fundraiser)
What: Melt are proud to present this special Aussie bushfire crisis fundraiser featuring none other than US tastemaker Atish (Manjumasi). Based in New York, Atish is one of the world’s most in-demand DJs and producers, with releases on imprints like Anjunadeep, Kindisch, and Stil Vor Talent, alongside his own label Manjumasi. Intimacy and connection are the foundations of the Atish dancefloor experience.
Why: Who would have thought humanity would find yet another way to pervert charitable donation with the proliferation of something awful. Tax evasion. Money laundering. Rave music.
4) Australia Day Farmers Support Lunch
What: There’s nothing more Australian than celebrating this great country with a few mates over a good old-fashioned Australia Day barbie with a cold beverage in hand, of course. This Australia Day, Executive Chef Deniz Coskun has invited some of his mates around for a BBQ, and they just so happen to be some of Brisbane’s top chefs. Join The Charming Squire on Sunday for their Australia Day long lunch. You and the crew will be feasting on a share menu curated and prepared by renowned chefs Deniz Coskun, Tony Tierney, Steve Hursey and Jason Anderson. All ticket sales will be donated directly to Aussie Farmers affected by the devastating bushfires and drought.
Why: Because the best kind of charity, apart from the tax dodging kind, is the kind with a guaranteed return of a giant rack of truffle ribs.
3) Flying Lotus ‘Flamagra’ Tour
What: The Operatives are proud to present the exclusive first appearance of the globally-renowned, mind-bending Flying Lotus 3D experience across Australia and New Zealand. No stranger to Australiasian shores, the artist known by fans affectionately as FlyLo has toured his past five studio albums down-under, since he attended Red Bull Music Academy in Melbourne in 2006 and met some long-term collaborators in the cohort. Whether he’s covered in women’s bras at a secret Captain Murphy show, getting the ‘shoe’ at Meredith Music Festival, or blowing the curved-roof off the Sydney Opera House, FlyLo’s shows have been a much-talked about affair for anyone interested in experimental music and visual arts across the country. Even the tech press has been floored, awarding the patented show ‘Tech Enhancement of the Year’ (Pollstar 2019). 3D Live, the creators of the tech touts the visuals viewable from 120 to 140 degree angles, meaning the holograms, usually flat for the cinema experience, can be seen from around a concert hall. Complimentary 3D glasses mean viewers can see music and a virtual world literally. collide — taking dancers into a kaleidoscope of pulsing colours, textures or imagery created by long-term collaborators Strangeloop and Timeboy.
Why: A wildly expensive soup of sensory assaults that perfectly demonstrates the 21st Century’s devolution of humans into perpetual three-year-olds with ADHD.
2) Billy Idol 2020 Tour
What: Billy Idol needs little introduction to fans. Frontier Touring are thrilled to welcome back the inimitable punk superstar and Grammy nominee for a series of special headline shows in January/February 2020 – Idol’s first tour of Australia since 2015! Idol will be bringing his full band back down under, including his long-time collaborator and legendary lead-guitarist Steve Stevens.
Why: He has nothing to prove. Which is why he’s on tour again at the age of 64.
1) St Jerome’s Laneway Festival
What: Featuring the most talked about, critically-acclaimed and best live acts in the world right now, the 2020 Laneway Festival is gonna be the hottest ticket in town! For a full day of musical discovery and adventure, they have you covered. Headlining the bill are the likes of pop pioneer Charli XCX and popular rapper Earl Sweatshirt will also be playing this year’s festival. Other international snags include The 1975 and J.I.D. But that’s not all. There’s a huge stack of local legends on the bill as well, including Ocean Alley, Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, The Chats, Hockey Dad, DMA’s, Stella Donnelly, Ruel, Tones and I, Kucka and more.
Why: The most invasive thing to happen to St Jerome’s laneway since Christianity was shoved up his arse.