Top 10 things On in Brisbane this week 15/12/2019

Things get pretty weird this week. Some marketing team thought calling the work of pop group Little Mix “ingenious” was a sane idea.


10) Vintopia Wine Tasting

20th December

What: A ‘Secret Santa’ edition of Vintopia. This merry yuletide Vintopia features nine mystery wines for your tasting pleasure, and all wines will be revealed on the night! So ho ho ho and deck the halls, it’s a very merry mystery Vintopia at Cloudland! A staggering nine wines will be available to taste and will be presented by Brad Nankervis from Domaine Wine Shippers.

Why: We can’t contradict this pitch. Any night with nine wines is bound to be merry at some point. The bookends of severe anxiety and hospital admittance do not technically effect the result.


9) passing bells

18th December

What: Drawing its theme from the correspondences between the catastrophic Middle Ages and our times, passing bells derives its architecture from the medieval ‘prayer hours’. The sound-world of the piece encapsulates much mimesis of bell sounds, drawing on Dench’s earlier composition passing bells: night (2004).

Why: As a society we’re likely cycling back towards the corporal punishment and moronic religiosity of the middle ages. You might as well set your internal mental compass to the soundtrack of the coming era.


8) Lagos Vibes Party

21st December

What: Lagos Vibes Party is the return edition of the Rooftop Series to keep bringing fun to Brisbane . A non-stop awesome mix of good music in a cool rooftop ambience. They will be dropping back to back new sounds from Afrobeats, House Music, Soca, RNB, Hiphop and Latino Music from your favorite DJ’s. Party like you’re in Lagos!

Why: Party like you’re in Lagos. So make sure you bring enough money to bribe the union bosses so you’re not beaten to a bloody pulp by gang members, arm yourself to the teeth, and chill bro, this is gonna be turnt, raver 4 life!


7) Translate: A Day Session with Alan Backdrop

15th December

What: Translate brings producer and DJ, Alan Backdrop from Italy for his debut set in Australia, powered by Void Sound System. Straight from Northern Italy, Alessio Meneghello or better known by his moniker Alan Backdrop, has been alluring his listeners through his productions characterised with deep atmospheres and a mixture of different genres. Simply put, Alan’s fascination is a reflection of his passion for electronic music and inspiration he gets from the world around.

Why: “Alan Backdrop”. A man who understands his place in the world. The setting for intellectual and artistic devolution.


6) The Wiggles: Party Time! Big Show!

15th December

What: The Wiggles will explode onto stages all around Australia, when they bring their brand-new Party Time! Big Show! around the country. Big Show will feature all your favourite Wiggles songs such as ‘Do the Propeller!’, ‘E-M-M-A’, ‘Hot Potato’ and ‘Rock-a- Bye Your Bear’, as well as some hits from the upcoming Party Time! Album and more wiggly classics! Emma, Lachy, Simon and Anthony will be joined by Dorothy the Dinosaur, Captain Feathersword, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog as well as their brand-new Wiggly Friend; Shirley Shawn the Unicorn. You’ll also see the Wiggly Dancers, Santa Claus, dancing reindeers and much more!

Why: The litmus test to see if your child is still capable of adequately processing reality. If they’re staring with dead eyes at Anthony, waiting for the other two blue ones to come out so they can all get crushed to death, it’s time to seriously consider the lucrative world of illegal child experimentation. It’s not like they’re going to use their brains for anything, they’re never going to hug you, and you really need the funds to update to the Echo Dot. Sell your child and invest in something capable of at least simulating humanity.!-Big-Show!-(3rd-Performance-Brisbane)/dc2a7250-f532-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192


5) Nathan Ball (Live)

20th December

What: Everything about singer-songwriter Nathan Ball feels unforced. A natural, easy, calming presence, his music scales universal emotional highs with as much fluidity as it descends into moody introspection. Nathan’s work fuses two chief loves – classic song writing and an eagerness to experiment and push sonic boundaries. Experience him live.

Why: An indie-folk musician who won’t force his music on you. Just like a communist dictator. They won’t actively force you to follow their rules and claim their superiority over all else, but if you contradict or piss off the fans of their regime, prepare to die.


4) The Pretty Weird Tour

15th December


What do you get when you cross an odd ball from Colorado with a beautiful dancing queen from Vietnam? Yvie Oddly and Plastique Tiara will be teaming up to give you a show unlike any other, it’s gonna get PRETTY WEIRD. Plastique is the most recent addition to the Haus of Edwards and she’s coming to twirl, kick and hair flip the way only an Edwards can! She may not have snatched the crown, but sometimes a sparkly tiara is all you need. Yvie has been telling us how it is all season, whether people like it or not. You better get used to it, because she’s on her way to come and spill the T and lip sync the house down!

Why: Werk, slay, yas queen. You know a section of humanity is a brilliant one when its parlance contains multiple iterations of a positive affirmation as opposed to multiple iterations of an offensive racial epithet.


3) Little Mix: Bounce Back Tour

16th December

What: Little Mix have firmly established their reputation as one of the most phenomenal performers around, having had 21 UK hit singles and sold more than 45 million records worldwide. This month the band release their new single ‘Bounce Back’. The song was produced by the legendary Stargate (Rihanna, Beyonce, Katy Perry), and features an ingenious sample from the classic Soul II Soul smash ‘Back To Life’, which co-incidentally celebrates it’s 30th anniversary this summer. Come see them perform it live.

Why: Well it turns out the youth of today isn’t actually all that different to the youth of generations past. Here we were assuming that the era of the girl group was dead and gone to be replaced by the timed orchestra of social media notifications. But that’s not so. The one thing we would have happily seen shrivel up and die has slathered itself with anti-ageing cream, pumped itself full of silicone and burst back out onto the stage.


2) Opeth 2019 Tour

15th December

What: Since forming in the tiny Stockholm suburb of Bandhagen in 1990, the Swedes have eclipsed convention, defiantly crushed the odds, and, most importantly, crafted 12 stunningly beautiful, intrinsically intense albums, to become one of the best bands on the planet; whether that be live or on record. December 2019 will see Opeth performing a stunning set of classic tracks from throughout their 30 year career as well as introducing Australian audiences to astounding new material from their forthcoming studio album.

Why: They’re not what they once were. But some bowel-churning death growls are timeless.


1) Summer Solstice Friday Night Organic Market

20th December

What: Experience a summer solstice ceremony with a community drumming circle and a performance by Vanua Fire, hailing from Vanuatu, who will continue to honour the sun in their stunning show of acrobatics, fire breathing and twirling. After this the ceremony will close with a call to water and regeneration. Prior to this, Brisbane’s first Waste Free Organic Street Food Market will be set in Brisbane’s much loved Northey Street City Farm. You will be able to eat locally sourced organic food with plenty of vegan and gluten free options, including some of the finest tasting raw food desserts and gelato you can imagine. Organic juices, smoothies, and refreshing drinks will be on offer, including beer, cider and kombucha on tap. Street food will be served on crockery and if you bring your own plate and keeper cup, you will get a 50 cent discount on your food and drink. There will be loads of artists, healers and ethical makers to assist you in your health journey and commitment to a sustainable lifestyle.

Why: A hipster orgy. Not even actual sex will top how profoundly high you feel after attending this. Your ego will be untethered for days.

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