Top 10 Sydney Culture On this week 04/08/2019
It has been scientifically proven that this week will pique your interest. Interesting things tend to happen after the ingestion of a lot of foreign liqueur.
10) Living Heritage Festival
What: Across Discovery Point Park and Mt Olympus, enjoy history pop-ups and tours, where you can hear from local historians about the stories of the people, house and life around Tempe House from the 1830s to today’s restoration. Adding to the vibrant community atmosphere is a selection artisan craft and local food stalls offering vintage fashion, upcycled goods and ‘Willie the Boatman’ craft beer for sale.
Why: It’s not just history. It’s niche history. The knowledge of which you can impressively pull out at parties in conversation in order to suck every last ounce of joy from the room.
9) UNSW Orchestra Concert: 30 Years In The Making
What: Come celebrate the 30th birthday of UNSW Orchestra! The orchestra will play Britten’s Five Courtly Dances from Gloriana, Peterson’s Anniversary Music, Sejourne’s Concerto for Vibraphone and String Orchestra and Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake Suite.
Why: You’re not rich enough to support the arts in any enjoyable manner. So until you can afford to buy intellectual morality in the form of champagne, cocaine, caviar and an art gallery named after you, this is your best shot.
8) REDvolution Dinner
What: Join the next generation of Australia’s First Families of Wine (AFFW) for a sensational ‘REDvolutionary’ dinner that may just change the way you think about wine. Guests of this exclusive event will enjoy 12 specially selected wines, as presented by the AFFW families, alongside four expertly matched courses prepared by former Rockpool chef, Mike McEnearney at Kitchen by Mike.
Why: A night with the family you’ve always wanted – childless and winery-bound.
7) The Taste of Japan: Whiskey and Umeshu Masterclass
What: A boutique Japanese whisky flight and masterclass with a cheeky twist. Over the course of the night you’ll make your way through a flight of six amazing whiskies and a truly unique umeshu (traditional Japanese stone-fruit liqueur). Stan Kozinets will also be taking you through the history and heritage of some amazing boutique distilleries.
Why: Wine and umeshu? That’s basically a healthy serving of grapes and stone fruit. Why, you’re on your way to ‘living your best life’ already. And great news, that life’ll only last a few more months. So the chances of hearing anyone say ‘I’m living my best life’ again before you die will thankfully be drastically reduced.
6) Sydney International Boat Show
4th & 5th August
What: The Sydney International Boat Show is the largest recreational marine event in the southern hemisphere. It will feature more than 220 exhibitors across two venues, more than 145 boats on the purpose built marina, more than 700 boats in the halls and 24,800 square metres (266,900 square feet) of undercover hall space, full of exhibits.
Why: If you have the income to afford an interest such as this you are part of the problem. But that’s perfectly alright. You know what really quiets the conscience? Champagne. There’ll be enough of it here that you might just end up paralysing your conscience’s blunt little tongue forever.
5) Verge’s Tenth Birthday
What: Biting Morsel is an evening of live performance and installation to celebrate Verge’s tenth birthday curated by Tulleah Pearce. Taking over the gallery courtyard and exploring the role of the art institution in precarious times, featured artists will each provide a performative toast or culinary offering sharing their hopes, dreams and visions for the museum of the future.
Why: Nothing puts one on surer footing during precarious times like an event in which it’s impossible to tell the difference between the priceless art and the catering.
4) Maitland Aroma (Coffee and Chocolate Festival)
10th & 11th August
What: The warm aroma of freshly ground coffee beans, rich melted chocolate and decadent dishes descend on Maitland during this snug August festival. Featuring expert chocolatiers, talented baristas and the best of the region’s winemakers, it is the perfect way to ward off the winter chill.
Why: This’ll get your heart pumping. Nothing wards off the winter chill like a combination of diabetes, liver disease and heart disease.
3) Vin Diemen
What: For one day only, Tasmania will come to Sydney to showcase the best of the Gourmet Isle. There’ll be vinous offerings from sparkling and Riesling to Chardonnay and Pinot Noir; and there’ll be delicious food made using Tasmania’s outstanding produce.
Why: The natural beauty, the gourmet fare, the rich, full bodied selection of native wines, the implied by-virtue-of-isolation incest. Experience all but the most interesting two of the preceding sentence as Vin Diemen brings Tasmania’s gastric talents to your salivating port of entry.
2) Sydney Science Festival
What: Sydney Science Festival celebrates and showcases Sydney’s diverse and multidisciplinary science and innovation community through a program of talks by leading researchers, hands-on workshops, exhibitions and events exploring all areas of science, technology, engineering and mathematics.
Why: When you’re standing on the scorched landscape of a world spurred to violent ruin by environmental catastrophe, drinking your dead mother’s blood for sustenance, at least you can say ‘…that Brian Cox was a real delight’.
1) Sydney Guitar Festival
What: Sydney’s premier guitar event, the festival celebrates the diverse instrument’s rich history. Leading the lineup is Australia’s world acclaimed acoustic guitar icon Tommy Emmanuel CGP. From classical to blues, acoustic to rock, this festival is the perfect chance to see some of Australia and the world’s best guitarists doing what they do best.
Why: It’s 2019, so we’re not quite sure what ‘doing what they do best’ means exactly. It’s impossible to keep up with common drug parlance these days.