Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 15/09/2019

This week’s pure magic. In that it requires powerful suspension of logic for many parts of it to make sense.


10) Wizard’s Laneway Festival

21st September

What: Calling all wizards, witches and mischief makers! You don’t want to miss the most spellbinding event in Melbourne! Dress up in your finest robes, pack your trunks and grab your wands; Jump on your broomstick or pack everyone into your flying car! Featuring live magic, fortune telling & tarot card reading, a hand-made wand seller, magical themed food & drink specials, potions and apothecary stalls, spellbinding games, prizes for best dressed, a cartoonist to accentuate your most magical features, a free magic photobooth, free face painting and free fantastical fairy floss.

Why: If you are over the age of 15 and attending this event without a child in tow, perhaps it’s time you consider aspirations beyond magical owls or a Subway managerial position. Of course, if you are over the age of 15 and attending this event without a child in tow, but with the express purpose of attracting one, you’ve clearly carefully considered your life’s trajectory, and are possibly already employed at Subway in a managerial position, so you may disregard the previous advice.’s-Laneway-Festival/9c4fd810-d43e-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192


9) Ballarat International Foto Biennale

15th September-20th October

What: The Ballarat International Foto Biennale is one of Australia’s pre-eminent photographic festivals. Program highlights include To the Moon and Back, in recognition of the Apollo moon landing 50 years ago, A History of Misogyny, Chapter One: On Abortion, a stark look at women’s reproductive rights, and Adi Nes’s homoerotic portraiture, which delves into questions of gender, masculinity and humanism.

Why: One of the few events that features the art of photography in which your data won’t be sold at a major profit. Though if you do decide to use Instagram while you’re there, that’s your prerogative.


8) Laser Beak Man 

19th, 20th & 21st September

What: Jam packed with the trademark wit and visual puns of artist Tim Sharp, the hyper coloured world of Laser Beak Man is brought to life on stage. Featuring an infectious soundtrack of live music by Sam Cromack of Ball Park Music and the creative minds of Dead Puppet Society. Robbed of his super powers, Laser Beak Man must find a way to stop his oldest nemesis from destroying Power City. Exploding with offbeat humour and a kaleidoscopic cast of characters, this ingenious adaptation of the cult classic artwork is part puppet show, part pop concert, and all heart.

Why: A stage show adapted from an artwork. Now if they could only do the same for Monet’s canon we could preserve a conception of the natural environment for posterity and finally convert useless swathes of natural beauty into productive manufacturing plants and cheap studio apartment high rises.


7) Vintage Wines And Spirits

20th September

What: Vintage House Wine and Spirits are known for their comprehensive portfolio of premium Australian, New Zealand and International brands, and are committed to providing only the very best. Join Vintage Wine And Spirits at Victory Lounge for an indulgent and informative evening sampling an array of premium wines.

Why: If you play it right, the evening should become less informative as it wears on.


6) Ale Stars feat. Stomping Ground Brewing Co.

17th September

What: Experience Stomping Ground’s Barrel aged delights! Many of these beers have been aged in a variety of spirit and wine barrels, others have been made with wild fermentation techniques, and others are beers you’ll recognise (but only just).

Why: Don’t worry. You’ll recognise all of them the following morning.


5) Swan Lake – Russian Ballet

21st September

What: The Imperial Russian Ballet Company return to Australia with Swan Lake…the most loved classical ballet of them all. This masterpiece ballet is presented in two acts and follows the original storyline. Subtle revisions and variations have been introduced by Gediminas Taranda, Artistic Director of the Imperial Russian Ballet Company. Swan Lake crosses the world of magic and mystical creatures with that of the real world. It is a story where the virtues of love and forgiveness in the end conquer evil and betrayal.

Why: Like that Natalie Portman movie but with less cunning linguists (it’s a ballet).


4) Guy Sebastian: Ridin’ With You Tour

15th September

What: Australia’s much loved singer, song writer and producer will take audiences on a musical journey spanning his 15 year career that has seen him rise to become one Australia’s most successful male artists. Fans will be treated to a collection of Guy’s globally loved mega hits Battle Scars, Bloodstone and Like A Drum, along with his breathtaking platinum single Before I Go and his brand new soulful and powerful smash hit, Choir.

Why: If you listen real close, you can hear Mark Holden’s ego from beyond the grave crying ‘I’m still here!’.’-With-You-Tour-(Melbourne)/49718c80-949f-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192


3) Royal Melbourne Show

21st September-1st October

What: Conducted annually by The Royal Agricultural Society of Victoria (RASV), the Royal Melbourne Show celebrates and showcases excellence in agriculture, attracting close to 500,000 people over 11 spectacular days. Open daily, the show offers a huge variety of unique memorable agricultural experiences that are entertaining, interactive, educational and fun for young and old alike. Perennial Melbourne show favourites are the showbags, rides, animal nursery, art and craft displays, dog shows, livestock displays and the Woodchop Pavilion.

Why: Nothing screams support for local Australian agriculture like a fifty dollar showbag filled with plastic toys screwed together by the tiny hands of a third-world child.


2) Melbourne Guitar Festival

20th-22nd September

What: From a concert of traditional South African Kora music by the amazing Derek Gripper, through to Radiohead arrangements by Codex Guitar Quartet, with breath-taking classical guitar soloists Campbell Diamond, Matt Withers, Gian Marco Ciampa (our 2018 ICAC winner) and Harold Gretton, and a French inspired program by the Melbourne Guitar Quartet, this 5th Melbourne Guitar Festival will be one to remember! Throw into the mix some amazing guitar displays, a $20,000 performance competition, masterclasses, presentations and complimentary catering at the evening concerts, the vibe and quality of performance at this classical guitar festival is unparalleled!

Why: A festival of fingering to sate your hungry mind-hole.


1) Melbourne Fringe Festival

15th-29th September

What: Melbourne Fringe transforms the city into a platform for every kind of artform imaginable, supporting over 3,000 artists to present 450+ works in 170+ venues to more than 360,000 people. The Fringe celebrates freedom of artistic expression, takes voices from the margins and amplifies them across the city. By pushing boundaries and illuminating new thoughts and ideas, the Festival transforms not only the city’s places but its people too.

Why: Hundreds of thousands of hipsters infesting every corner of city, randomly exploding in quasi-unsolicited theatrics. What a transformation for Melbourne.

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