Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 15/03/2020

This week you’ll need plenty of fluids.


10) Think Tank: Who’s Afraid of Public Space?

18th March

What: This is the first of five Think Tanks led by ACCA over 2020, this forum delves into recent global debates and phenomena including the increasing incursion of private interests into public culture; the dynamic relations between urban design, surveillance, regulation and mis/behaving bodies, as well as improvisation and play; ideas of community, collectivity and the commons; the cultivation of fear in media and urban space; and ongoing debates related to the public broadcasting of private lives; freedom of speech and censorship; and the ways in which technology, knowledge and mobility impact upon and transform our understanding of public space, culture and its values.

Why: They really should have rethought the title of this event.’s-Afraid-of-Public-Space/8c4e5460-64c5-11ea-96b7-b132cf2a7536


9) St Patrick’s Family Fun Day (Cancelled)

15th March

What: Come experience Melbourne’s original St. Patrick’s Day Festival to celebrate Irish heritage and culture. Tap your feet along to heartwarming traditional and contemporary Irish music, relive your youth by dancing along with the Irish dancers. There will be lots of activities and sport to entertain and delight the kids. Remember to pack some Taytos or ham sandwiches to enjoy a picnic with family and friends, but leave some room to taste the fantastic food trucks and stalls on offer.

Why: Ham sandwiches, dancing and toddlers. Arguably the worst way to experience St Patrick’s Day in 2020. At least the people in self-isolation don’t have to clean up someone else’s puke.

Update: This event has been cancelled. Such is life. And the potential lack-thereof.’s-Family-Fun-Day-2020/917314a0-64c3-11ea-96b7-b132cf2a7536


8) Living Traditions Festival 

20th March

What: This family friendly community festival is a vibrant celebration of cultural diversity in the Inner North West of Melbourne. Sample food from around the world such as Ethiopian curries, Colombian fare and Indian sweets. Dance to the rhythms of the Melbourne African Traditional Ensemble. Watch cooking demonstrations that pay homage to family recipes from Somalia and Egypt. For all the coffee lovers out there; sample authentic Ethiopian coffee. If tea is more for you, then take part in a meditative Chinese tea ceremony. For children there will be face painting and craft activities. There will also be henna art, a tote bag painting stall and wonderful displays of traditional crafts. This festival celebrates diverse communities, cultures and traditions in Melbourne through food, music, arts, and storytelling.

Why: In 2020 travelling is for the birds or the brave. Experience one of the only parts of other peoples’ cultures that you’d move yourself to by a ticket for, without leaving Melbourne: greasy fair food.


7) Cirque du Soleil: KURIOS – Cabinet Des Curiosités

15th-29th March

What: Cirque du Soleil will bring its newest creation to Australia: KURIOS – Cabinet of Curiosities. Created and directed by Michel Laprise, Kurios looks at a late 19th-century world inventor who invents a machine that defies the laws of time, space, and dimension in order to reinvent everything around him with steampunk elements featuring characters from another dimension that interact with him and a tribute to the power of the human imagination.

Why: Oh yeah. Those inventors from the 1800s were all about steampunk. Charles Darwin was really into Final Fantasy VI when he wasn’t drawing finch beaks.


6) Spanish Wine Tasting

21st March

What: With a wine-making tradition that is just as rich as Italy and France, there is some incredible wine to be found in Spain, often at a great value. It’s actually the country with the largest surface percentage dedicated to wine cultivation and its wine is prized for its almost infinite variations and excellent quality. Enjoy more than 20 Spanish wines, plus a selection of canapes and take advantage of special tasting day pricing on wines.

Why: Envisioning Spain in its current condition requires wine. Lots of wine.


5) Melbourne Celtic Festival

17th March

What: Unique Spaces and a few secret nooks in the historic Mission to Seafarers complex will burst to life with a Celtic Brunch, Celtic rock and traditional music, Irish dancing, musical drama, children’s activities, writing workshops, traditional Irish singing workshops, Scottish smallpipes and bodhran demonstrations, special senior’s entertainment, food, a licensed bar, merchandise and more.

Why: It’s 2020 and you don’t need an excuse to drink, but say “Scottish smallpipes” to anyone and they’ll immediately forgive you for puking electric green all over their shoes.


4) Melbourne Design Week

15th-22nd March

What: In 2020, Melbourne Design Week explores the role of how design can shape life from big-picture thinking around global events to transforming the routines of everyday life. Melbourne Design Week builds upon the success of its 2019 program through continuing its exploration of Victoria’s rivers, waterways and oceans with Open House Melbourne under the Waterfront program. The War on Waste continues with a special focus on e-waste. Design Cultures looks at the objects, experiences and beliefs that bind people together; Design Evolution highlights a new wave of design thinking; while the mental and physical pulse of our urban environment is checked in the thematic Healthy Cities. This year Melbourne Design Week has expanded to over 300 events, including a film festival and book fair, but it holds to its core a Melbourne attitude rather than an aesthetic, in this expansion. This attitude is a responsibility for design to imagine and create better ways of doing things. You do not need to be a designer or from Melbourne or Victoria to have this attitude. Come along: talk, make, share, eat, discuss and listen. And most importantly, imagine a better life today.

Why: “See, dad? My degree wasn’t a waste of time. I’ve got a whole Instagram story at the Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibition featuring my colour-coded binders to prove it!”


3) St Kilda St Patrick’s Day Festival (Cancelled)

15th March

What: The 2020 St Kilda St. Patrick’s Festival is bigger and better with a new parade on Acland Street, international Irish band Hermitage Green headlining the live music stage with support acts such as Irish traditional band Sasta, The Lost Backbackers and much more in O’Donnell Gardens St Kilda. There will be street performers, Irish food, Irish dancing & live music creating a fun-filled atmosphere. Join the rest of the world in the St Patrick’s Day festivities!

Why: No organ, let alone virus, can survive the intake of alcohol required at this event.

Update: This event has been cancelled. Such is life. And the potential lack-thereof.’s-Day-Festival-2020/2258a7e0-649d-11ea-96b7-b132cf2a7536


2) Melbourne Food and Wine Festival (Postponed)

19th-29th March

What: Melbourne’s biggest gastronomic celebration, the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival, marks its 28th year in 2020. The Queen Victoria Market will be the home of the Festival in March 2020 where MFWF will stage parties, talks, demonstrations and events within Melbourne’s much-loved marketplace. Highlights of this year’s festival include The Big Spaghetti pasta party with food from Tipo 00, Capitano, Rosetta, Caterina’s, and drinks by Bar Americano and Giorgio De Maria; the Welcome to the Jungle party – hosted by Shannon Martinez of Smith and Daughters, with support from Matt Wilkinson (Crofter) and Jerry Mai (Annam) – will celebrate plants in all forms, from vegan dishes to living-room decor; and Maximum Chips – a playful, casual night with all-you-can-eat shoestrings, French fries, crinkle-cuts and even wedges.

Why: Now let’s forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice-cream.

Update: This event has been postponed. Such is life. And the potential lack-thereof.


1) Melbourne Indie Film Festival

16th-24th March

What: The Melbourne Indie Film Festival will feature some of the best of independent cinema from around the world, including a mix of award winning films and outstanding emerging talent in the film industry. The festival has been set-up to showcase new and creative works by emerging local and international artists, and for those who have an admiration for cinema and the craft of filmmaking. Experience the stimulating fusion of Melbourne’s creative energy with the uniqueness of The Post St Kilda, as the Melbourne Indie Film Festival aims to bring entertainment and inspiration to its audience by showcasing stories and issues from around the world through the impact of great cinema.

Why: It’s a film festival. But it’s an indie film festival. The main distinction? Increased consumption of more free flowing alcohol. Also probably a lot more closeup uncensored dick shots.

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