Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 08/03/2020

Exotic constipation, by design.


10) Derek Gripper (Live)

10th March

What: Derek Gripper is a classical guitarist who has taken a unique path. As a South African classical musician he felt limited by the music of the traditional classical guitar and so went on a journey through different musical styles, returning always to the guitar to find ways of bringing what he learned onto the instrument. This concert will explore the dialogue between the disparate styles that have informed his work to date: Kora, Bach, South African jazz, Contemporary Classical and large scale improvisations. Quotations of Bach, Malian songs, virtuosic kora compositions, Southern African bow music, and avant-garde Brazilian guitar music combine to create a new solo guitar which is at once intimate and explosive, improvised and composed, traditional and new.

Why: All the aggressive fingering you’d expect from a guy called Derek Gripper without the unnecessary extreme close-up anus shots.


9) Exotic Generation Australia

14th March

What: Australia finally joins the worlds most famous pole festival; Exotic Generation! Originating in the birth place of exotic dance; Russia, Exotic Generation is the pole DANCE event we have all been waiting for. No rules. No restrictions. Just the best exotic pole dancers from all around the globe battling it out for their chance to represent Australia in the world championships in Moscow! With a star studded line up from all around Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Bali & Singapore competing across five different dance genres; Exotic Flow, Old School, Hard Style, Show Group and Exotic Men – this is not the kind of event you can afford to miss! You will want to be there live, glued to your Alex Theatre St Kilda seat hearing every heel clack crack that stage floor & being mesmerised by the way the light hits those sparkly costumes.

Why: Nothing glues one to ones seat (and other surrounding fabrics) quicker than a pole dancing routine.


8) Conspiracy Theory: A Lizard’s Tale

8th March

What: Marlon’s a Jew. This didn’t bother him much until he discovered that some people he knew didn’t believe the Holocaust happened. From 9/11 to shape-shifting lizards and Holocaust denial, this is a darkly comic tale of one man’s journey through the conspiracy underworld. The first one-person show to be performed in the UK Houses of Parliament and coming to Melbourne fresh from a hit run at The Edinburgh Fringe; Marlon Solomon’s Conspiracy Theory: A Lizard’s Tale is a piece of documentary theatre which explores why conspiracy theories are more popular than ever. He examines how fake news gives fresh currency to ancient slander and how this all relates to current issues in mainstream politics. Conspiracy Theory: A Lizard’s Tale is a one man, multi-media piece of storytelling; it’s a comic tale which is no laughing matter.

Why: These days, not everyone loves a clown. The position’s been usurped by TED Talkers.’s-Tale/27b93d70-5f5d-11ea-96b7-b132cf2a7536


7) Cirque du Soleil: KURIOS – Cabinet Des Curiosités

13th-29th March

What: Cirque du Soleil will bring its newest creation to Australia: KURIOS – Cabinet of Curiosities. Created and directed by Michel Laprise, Kurios looks at a late 19th-century world inventor who invents a machine that defies the laws of time, space, and dimension in order to reinvent everything around him with steampunk elements featuring characters from another dimension that interact with him and a tribute to the power of the human imagination.

Why: Oh yeah. Those inventors from the 1800s were all about steampunk. Charles Darwin was really into Final Fantasy VI when he wasn’t drawing finch beaks.


6) Van Gogh & Japan (Screening)

12th March

What: One cannot understand Van Gogh without understanding how Japanese art arrived in Paris in the middle of the 19th century and the profound impact it had on artists like Monet, Degas and, above all, Van Gogh. Visiting the new galleries of Japanese art in Paris and then creating his own image of Japan through in-depth research, print collecting and detailed discussions with other artists Van Gogh’s encounter with Japanese artworks gave his work a new and exciting direction. In this little known story of Van Gogh’s art we see just how important his study of Japan was. The film travels to Japan, France and the Netherlands to further explore the remarkable heritage that so affected Van Gogh and made him the artist we know of today.

Why: You know, the mentally ill would progress so much as a subset of society if they were to just make the extra effort to be dead and bankable.


5) Flor de Toloache (Live)

12th March

What: This group continue to win the hearts of both progressive and traditional mariachi music fans alike through their distinct artistic vision and sophisticated, enlightened interpretation of traditional mariachi instruments. The female quartet’s diverse ethnicities and musical backgrounds have also transcended culture and gender by forging new paths. Like the legendary Love Potion the Toloache flower is used for in Mexico, the ladies of Flor de Toloache cast a spell over their audiences with soaring vocals and physical elegance. The group is led by co-band directors Mireya I. Ramos on violin and Shae Fiol on vihuela.

Why: Nothing says ‘transcendence of gender’ like these spell-casting love-potion wielding witches.


4) Joep Beving (Live Solo Piano Concert)

10th March

What: Joep Beving is one of the most listened-to pianists of our current age. Pronounced ‘Yoop’, the Dutch musician is a towering figure in the streaming world – and in real life too, thanks to his two-metre build, wild hair and striking visage. He has become a one-man success story – writing, recording and releasing his debut album Solipsism, which has been surmounted over 140 million streams. Beving released the second instalment to Solipsism, Prehension, in 2017. Understated, haunting and melancholic, its delicate melodies soothe the soul. Beving’s album from 2018, Conatus, is a collaborative album, with several artists reworking his earlier compositions. His upcoming album, Henosis, will be released in April 2019 and is the third in the Solipsism-Prehension trilogy. This concert will see Joep performing solo piano, featuring pieces from Solipsism and Prehension.

Why: Because this isn’t a film, this is real life. And in real life, the pretentious guy named Joep always wins.


3) Wine and Cheese Fest 

8th March

What: Celebrating its 8th year, Wine and Cheese Fest 2020 will bring together more than 60 boutique wine, cheese and small goods producers at their new location, The Timber Yard in Port Melbourne! Enjoy free tastings of quality food and drink producers, learn the tricks of the trade and enjoy great music in a fun and relaxing family friendly atmosphere. When the sun goes down the (after) party gets started on the lawn with DJs and food trucks and a fully stocked bar!

Why: Eat, drink and make merry. Unless you’re the one who decided to bring your children. In which case, make better life decisions.


2) Melbourne Design Week

12th-22nd March

What: In 2020, Melbourne Design Week explores the role of how design can shape life from big-picture thinking around global events to transforming the routines of everyday life. Melbourne Design Week builds upon the success of its 2019 program through continuing its exploration of Victoria’s rivers, waterways and oceans with Open House Melbourne under the Waterfront program. The War on Waste continues with a special focus on e-waste. Design Cultures looks at the objects, experiences and beliefs that bind people together; Design Evolution highlights a new wave of design thinking; while the mental and physical pulse of our urban environment is checked in the thematic Healthy Cities. This year Melbourne Design Week has expanded to over 300 events, including a film festival and book fair, but it holds to its core a Melbourne attitude rather than an aesthetic, in this expansion. This attitude is a responsibility for design to imagine and create better ways of doing things. You do not need to be a designer or from Melbourne or Victoria to have this attitude. Come along: talk, make, share, eat, discuss and listen. And most importantly, imagine a better life today.

Why: “See, dad? My degree wasn’t a waste of time. I’ve got a whole Instagram story at the Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibition featuring my colour-coded binders to prove it!”


1) Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival

8th-14th March

What: The Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival is Australia’s largest fashion event, and an annual celebration of fashion, beauty, business and creative endeavour for everyone to enjoy. Established in 1997, the event stimulates and celebrates the Australian fashion industry whilst providing employment, networking and professional development opportunities for fashion, beauty, design, creative, marketing and retail industry professionals. A true feast for the senses, the Festival presents the most stylish program of entertainment on offer including world-class runway shows and parties featuring Australia’s established and emerging designers, state-of-the-art production, beauty workshops, interactive experiences, live entertainment and much more.

Why: We’re glad they followed the word ‘feast’ with the clarification ‘for the senses’. We’d hate to, by proxy, promise some form of edible, non-Ipecac-laced nutritive sustenance.


Special Mention

Opera in the Alps

14th March

What: Known for its world class entertainment, electric atmosphere and exceptional food and wine experience, Opera in the Alps is home to a line up worthy of the international musical stage. Before the concert, enjoy a spectacular feast of local produce and superb wines with guest appearances by mezzo soprano and chef Silvia Colloca, and Tasmanian baritone and wine connoisseur, Samuel Dundas, who will chat about the feast. Then, settle down beneath Baarmutha Park’s spectacular white-trunked eucalypts for an incredible program featuring Silvia Colloca – mezzo, Samuel Dundas – baritone, William Barton – didgeridoo, Guy Noble – conductor and raconteur.

Why: The ear-shattering wail of live opera is a far more aggressive bowel stimulant than the majority of over-the-counter laxatives you’d usually need to take following a gourmet feast.

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