Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 01/12/2019

Summer’s here. Opera isn’t normally that horrifically shrill, the cast of Turandot is just experiencing heatstroke.


10) Robin Boyd Redux: RMIT Design Archives

5th December

What: The launch of the RMIT Design Archives Journal, Vol 9 No 2, 2019 Robin Boyd Redux: at the RMIT Design Archives.This special issue on Robin Boyd, edited by Karen Burns and Harriet Edquist, will reposition him within global and local media circuits. By situating Boyd’s writings and media performances within networks and dialogues, they aspire to locate Boyd within a more detailed context and provide critical accounts of the circulation and reception of his ideas.

Why: A journal launch with a description so nebulous, you just know they’re going to get screwed by their professor for inconsistent use of the Chicago referencing style.


9) Neon Yoga: Glow in the Dark Yoga

6th December

What: Wellness Market Collboration with Blooming Happy Yoga presents yoga like you have never seen it before. Grab an alcoholic kombucha from the pop up bar and head into this fun late night yoga session with a group of friends and glow together.

Why: Find your centre with the aid of a central nervous system depressant.


8) Australian Tattoo Expo

6th-8th December

What: With over 300 talented artists from across the globe under one roof, there isn’t a better place to be introduced to the niche and complex culture of tattooing and body art.

Why: This isn’t your mother’s needlepoint club. Though you may spot a few people around that are big fans of her talents in the bedroom.


7) The Wiggles: Party Time! Big Show! 

7th-15th December

What: The Wiggles will explode onto stages all around Australia, when they bring their brand-new Party Time! Big Show! around the country. Big Show will feature all your favourite Wiggles songs such as ‘Do the Propeller!’, ‘E-M-M-A’, ‘Hot Potato’ and ‘Rock-a- Bye Your Bear’, as well as some hits from the upcoming Party Time! Album and more wiggly classics! Emma, Lachy, Simon and Anthony will be joined by Dorothy the Dinosaur, Captain Feathersword, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog as well as their brand-new Wiggly Friend; Shirley Shawn the Unicorn. You’ll also see the Wiggly Dancers, Santa Claus, dancing reindeers and much more!

Why: The litmus test to see if your child is still capable of adequately processing reality. If they’re staring with dead eyes at Anthony, waiting for the other two blue ones to come out so they can all get crushed to death, it’s time to seriously consider the lucrative world of illegal child experimentation. It’s not like they’re going to use their brains for anything, they’re never going to hug you, and you really need the funds to update to the Echo Dot. Sell your child and invest in something capable of at least simulating humanity.


6) Turandot

2nd-6th December

What: Turandot is Puccini’s opera about a brutal princess and an impossibly brave suitor, who will make any sacrifice to win her love. A fantasy opera of poetry and myth, set in an exotic world where fear and love go hand in hand and death is always just around the corner. ‘Nessun dorma’ is just one of its magnificent moments.

Why: Rape, but in the form of Italian Opera. So it’s classy.


5) Melbourne Shakespeare Company’s The Taming of the Shrew

7th-22nd December

What: Packed with live music, dancing and a dose of comedy, Melbourne Shakespeare Company’s The Taming of the Shrew is a full-scale, fast-paced adventure in the stunning St Kilda Botanical Gardens with a twist. Each night the audience decides which performer gets to play the Shrew and who gets to play the Tame, leading to a wild night of theatre where ANYTHING can happen.

Why: Take your whole family, from the oldest generation to the youngest. Following the play, casually muse out loud on the subject of misogyny. Watch the fireworks.


4) Bakery Hill Distillery presents Merry ‘Peatmas’

5th December

What: Join Bakery Hill father-son duo David and Andrew Baker for a special ‘Peatmas’ event celebrating unique and surprising peated whiskies from Scotland, Australia and everywhere in between. You’ll enjoy six (or maybe seven) samples of premium decidedly Peated whiskies and tasty finger food alongside two hours of thought-provoking whisky conversation.

Why: People always forget about the more heart-warming consequences of genetic alcoholism.‘Peatmas’/45b13960-1244-11ea-b14f-a713526e5192


3) Italian Cine-scapes #2: The Seduction of Mimi/Mimì metallurgico ferito nell’onore

1st December

What: The IIC Melbourne, in collaboration with Palace Cinemas and Istituto Luce Cinecittà, presents the second edition of the successful series Italian Cine-scapes with a new exciting selection of movies that speak of inner and external landscapes showing both a long gone and contemporary Italy.

Why: Experience a culture beyond terrifying, quasi-racist pasta sauce puppets.’onore/35673dd0-7ffe-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192



4th December

What: FLIGHT is a multi-sensory, multi-universal journey in complete darkness. DARKFIELD once again use their signature 3D soundscape to push the bounds of reality. Expect to reach an altitude very much at odds with the shipping container one is seated within.

Why: Alter your consciousness in a shipping container. Its incredible how the same description, when applied to two different subsets of humanity, can change radically. For example, a white citizen verses a non-white asylum-seeker.


1) Urban Square Pop-up Market

5th December

What: Bring your family, friends and colleagues to the Urban Square Pop-up Market to enjoy free workshops, including a special Soft Stories craft and animation activity with renowned textile artist Cat Rabbit and award-winning animator Isobel Knowles, delicious food from Wonderbao, a basketball competition, Melbourne-made gifts from Clementine’s and Shop Bitsy, a Laneway Learning calligraphy workshop, X-mas gift wrapping, music and so much more!

Why: Accrue centuries-worth of non-biodegradable waste to show the biodegradable beings in your life how thankful you are that they are biodegradable, but their wills and testaments are not.

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