Square Your Shoulders and Brace Yourself at the Urban Square Pop-Up Market
The holiday season is once again upon us.
Unlike the many, many other holiday seasons like Easter, Labour Day, ANZAC day or the several days following the decision to get drunk on Horse Jizz (1 part beer, 1 part milk), this time of year still places the irremovable dead albatross of family around your neck.
At least Coleridge’s doomed mariner had a hand in his grim fate, you didn’t decide to be legally affiliated with several racists, a Scientologist, a toddler with a superior-quality iPhone and an extremely ungenerous drug-dealer.
But until society progresses to the point when it realises the pomp and ceremony involved in preserving relationships with genuinely horrible people doesn’t effectively alleviate the human fear of death and irrelevance, we must endure. And that requires adequate supplies.
Enter: The Urban Square Pop-up Market.
“Bring your family, friends and colleagues to our Urban Square Pop-up Market to enjoy free workshops, including a special Soft Stories craft and animation activity with renowned textile artist Cat Rabbit and award-winning animator Isobel Knowles, delicious food from Wonderbao, a basketball competition, Melbourne-made gifts from Clementine’s and Shop Bitsy, a Laneway Learning calligraphy workshop, X-mas gift wrapping, music and so much more!”
So, take a couple of hours off your regular Thursday night schedule that you’d usually spend contemplating whether you’re going to be frisky and buy the $5 bottle of Aldi wine instead of the $3 one, and stock up on all your Christmas-themed, whale-suffocating trinkets for the season.
And, as an added bonus, you may just be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas: a brightly-lit consumerist orgy that throws a massive shadow over the increasing monetisation and intellectual devaluation of vital educational institutions.