Queensland Garden Expo (Rated X)
Gimme a home among the gumtrees, with lots of plum trees…
A sheep or two, a kangaroo, a clothesline out the back, verandah out the front and an old sex offender.
We replaced the last lyric, but we can’t help but feel Don Burke might have made disgusting use out of that rocking chair.
Truthfully, the desires put forth by the song make sense.
You’re going to need to binge eat game meat and sugary fruit to distract yourself from the fact that every icon from your childhood that made you feel safe was almost definitely sexually violating someone.
And if the gastric fizz of meat and out-of-season plums doesn’t distract you enough, why not focus on the delights of cultivating a garden with the help of The Queensland Garden Expo?
It’s a three day celebration of gardening including an extensive lecture and demonstration program, landscape display gardens, over 360 exhibits including 55 nurseries, a giant kitchen garden feature and a cooking stage.
There’ll also be great food, entertainment and a range of free children’s activities!
It’s a great day out for all the family.
Pitching a festival about decorating large patches of uninhabited land in a world beset by a crippling population crisis is just as delightful as the theme tune to Burke’s Backyard.
…It used to be fun.