Melbourne Fashion Week: A Shinier Crown Than Yours, Marm

Though, as Australians, we retain strings of reluctant dedication to the British crown, we’ve long since lost the privilege of joining in the pomp and pageantry of a monarchy. The dictatorial marching, the ridiculous outfits, the frozen faces of those who have laid their lives on the line for the cause of an insane and largely irrelevant aristocracy.

Enter: Melbourne Fashion Week.

Melbourne Fashion Week will be taking over the city to welcome the Spring, celebrating the best in Australian fashion with over 150 events. This year’s focus is on sustainability.

Designers studying at Melbourne’s top institutions will present collections guaranteed to push boundaries, the Maximalism showcase will travel through a number of the city’s iconic sites, featuring a performance by artists The Huxleys, the Melbourne City Baths this year will feature a streetwear and athleisure-focused runway, there’ll be a real focus on Australia’s First Nations designers, experts from the Masters Institute of Creative Education will guide you through simple deconstruction and sewing techniques to help you up-cycle your own clothes, and as always, there will be a whole host of fashion themed talks, parties and exhibitions taking place throughout Melbourne.

In terms of the current politics dominating Britain, far from ceding to progress, it seems probable that they’re only going to up their game in terms of shows of excessive incest-riddled wealth. And it’s rather doubtful we, as Australians, and perhaps the more progressive child of the troublingly racist parent, will be invited to their soirees.

So come, bathe yourself in a sea of wonderful expressions of individuality spun by definitely anti-bourgeoisie artists in Melbourne sipping champagne and clamouring for fulfilment in the form of a cheque equivalent to 6 million individual strands of Russian sable fur.

Bring laxatives.

At the very least your colon will be subversive.

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