Vegan Italiano – With The Flavour You Can See

Remember those racially insensitive ads from Arnotts Shapes that had the biscuit triangles with tiny dancing Spanish women and horrifying Pavarotti puppet men you thought were incredibly delicious and justification for essential cannibalism?

Well, they rightly turned to ash in your mouth though you only realised at the time the visceral horror of the moment.

And when you grew up you realised the true intellectual horror of those ads.

And the advertising industry in general.

Well, let us bring you the long-awaited moral cure.

Vegan Italiano via Sydney’s Good Food Month.

Turns out, no matter how offensive your friend’s impersonation of Marlon Brando in conglomeration with their supposed Italian heritage gets, there’s always salvation in the form of another highly advertised, money-making scheme off the backs of a first world country’s problematic and perverse addiction to food.

Enter Sydney Good Food Month’s “Vegan Italiano”.

Long gone are Arnotts Shapes, because you’re a grown up now.

Here come people in puffy hats wielding coriander and a philosophy that, in its veganism, makes you feel like a less corrupt, but ultimately terrible person.

Don’t worry, avocados and nuts murder thousands of bees in their production.

And as with all measurement of glut and morality, you have to take into account your willingness to seem like a good person and the fact that you’re incredibly lazy.

So. Vegan Italiano.

Come taste the inevitably gaseous morality.

No Comments

Post a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.