Top 10 things On in Brisbane this week 02/12/2018

Ladies and gentleman, Shania Twain’s back. You know what that means. Gather your guns, buy all the baked bean cans (make sure they’re Heinz – we still have standards) you can find and barricade your doors and windows. ZOMBIE ATTACK!


10) RockIT Fit presents: Hot Sensation SummerRave 

8th December

What: SummerRave 2018 is going to make you sweat, squat and rock your heart out! Expect summer anthems, feel good vibes, loads of sweat, and non-stop raving. You’ll be guaranteed to wave yo’ hands in the air like you just don’t care!

Why: We neglected to mention this is entirely sober. So it’s a rave in a club with the kinds of people that are dedicated to working out in a gym and there’s no liquor. If nothing else, just be grateful of the fact you’ve been forewarned about where these awful people congregate.


9) Australien Future Exhibition Opening Event

7th December

What: Deb Mostert’s art exhibition focusses on people, birds and memory, inspired by discovery of film footage taken by her grandfather on board a migrant ship.

Why: If ever there were a shorthand way of appearing knowledgeable about and sensitive to the migrant experience, it’s surreptitiously taking a pensive Instagram shot of yourself at this thing with the hashtag ‘woke bae’. Ugh.


8) The Seed of Conversation

8th December

What: Six artists will discuss their art practice and share their individual experiences in creating work for Tree Place – an exhibition at Noosa Art Gallery.

Why: If there’s anything more wildly entertaining than an art exhibition, it’s having to pretend to give a shit about exactly why the artist chose to use sable as opposed to a bristle paintbrush.


7) Brewclub with Colonial Brewing Co

4th December

What: Meet brewer Ash Hazell from Colonial Brewing Co in a night of craft beer and summer snacks. Sample 4 core range products: Draught, Small Ale, Pale Ale and IPA, as well as Sour and Project beer Inquest Colonial.

Why: Nothing legitimises a chronic addiction like using a synonym and adding the word club to the end. In the same way ‘gourmet club’ is really 3 or more people stuffing their faces with any edible thing fried in at least two vats of butter.


6) We Love Brunch

2nd December

What: We Love Brunch co is all about empowering and connecting likeminded, local women. A great excuse to dress up, widen your social circle and treat yourself to a morning of great food and cocktails!

Why: We suppose you could nix all the ridiculously boring Sex-And-The-City-esque social conventions expected of you by the terrible kinds of people who attend brunches and just stay home alone and get pissed.


5) Christmas Drinks: QLD Screen Industry

6th December

What: Queensland Screen Industry Guild is hosting a night of christmas drinks for its members and all those interested in film making.

Why: For one glorious night let loose your true feelings about the travesty that is James Cameron’s Avatar without getting rocks thrown at your head.


4) Beirne Lane Bottomless Brunch

2nd December

What: Beirne Lane presents the Beirne Brunch Club. 3 hours of a bottomless brunch featuring a smorgasbord of brunch delights, beats and live performances, circus artists, naked models and a beauty station.

Why: Because there’s no better time to get your eyebrows plucked than after 2 hours of day drinking, with a stomach gurgling with cider jelly, blue cheese and cream cannoli and some guy’s dick in your face.


3) Dinner with Penfolds

6th December

What: An exclusive insight into the generations of visionaries and innovators that have placed this iconic winery on a global pedestal. Immerse yourself in the winery’s story, all the while enjoying an indulgent menu with matching fine wines.

Why: We’ll be honest. We’ve never heard of the supposedly iconic Penfolds winery. But then, Aldi has wine for $2.85. So Aldi’s really responsible for our ignorance. And liver disease.


2) RocKwiz Revue 

8th December

What: RockWiz is back and taking their unique show of sublime musicianship, comedy and rock-inspired quizzing on the road for a live studio-audience inspired show.

Why: It’s like QI for idiots. Sorry, we meant Australians.


1) Shania Twain NOW Tour 

5th and 6th December

What: In celebration of Shania’s third consecutive #1 album – she brings her NOW Tour to Australia. Shania is a five-time Grammy Award-winner and the reigning Queen of Country Pop.

Why: It seems she’s still alive. Who knew? Yes, Twain is once again on tour. She’s “still the one”…the one out of many ageing remnants of the 80s desperately trying to cling on to relevance whilst they circle the inevitable eternal darkness.

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