Top 10 Sydney Revelry On this week 16/12/2018
It’s the season of giving. It’s also the season of a sudden rise in maniacal autocrats. So, screw giving. Let’s take everything we can and run.
10) Jeff Duff: Walk on the Wild Side
What: Jeff Duff and his killer band perform Lou Reed’s landmark album Transformer in its entirety. Plus a raunchy set of Lou Reed’s and Velvet Underground’s classics.
Why: What better time is there to pervert the infamous lyrics and inimitable voice of Lou Reed than when you’re definitely sure he died five years ago?
9) Lucy Burke and Midweek Panic
What: Performing at the Foundry is Sydney songwriter Lucy Burke in the style of acoustic pop jazz, followed by Sydney blues rock band Midweek Panic.
Why: Let’s get one thing clear here. We know what we’ve pitched. We know ‘acoustic pop jazz’ are the last three words that should ever be put together and that includes ‘major pulmonary embolism‘ and ‘look, a clown’. We also know why. It’s in a bar. You’re going to have to desensitise yourself to this music in this current era. Drinking helps.
8) Rave The Halls
What: A collection of some of the best in Sydney’s rave scene to help you celebrate the holiday period. Featuring Tim Dawes, Daviebones, Risque, Vial 8 Vendetta 7, Mixen Vixen and Digitize.
Why: ‘Twas the night near Christmas and all through the house, hordes of sweaty people were grinding on each other, unable to distinguish the music from their own screams.
7) Mixmag x Miller Music Amplified: Human Movement & Made In Paris
What: One last night of Mixmag for the year! Featuring staples of the Australian scene, Human Movement, who have have set the benchmark for aspiring house/techno producers and Made in Paris whose brooding, melodic techno masterpieces will be moving the floor.
Why: Ah, Christmas. An endless stream of Michael Buble and, it seems, deep techno house. There’s no way you’ll get out of this festive season without your ears bleeding.
6) 12 days of Chiswick Christmas
What: Celebrate christmas with 12 new Christmas cocktails, available to enjoy with your family and friends every night at the Chiswick. Start with Chiswick’s 4 Pillars Christmas Gin Martinez which tastes like Christmas pudding, and finish with a Baileys Espresso Martini to get you through the big day on Christmas Eve!
Why: The only way to enjoy that partridge in a pear tree is if the pears are made into alcoholic cider and the partridge is bled and its blood is offered to you in a chipped glass by some guy with six teeth named Razorblade who distills his own rum.
5) Scotch Club: Blend Your Own Whisky
What: Ever wanted to make your own whisky? With the choice of 5 single malts of distinct flavour profiles (floral, fruity, creamy, citrus, & smoky), and under the guidance of a master-blender you’ll be tutored in the craftsmanship of blending your own whisky.
Why: It will sure as hell mark a change in your own history with whisky blends which have featured chocolate milk, Fanta and one time, yes, packet soup.
4) GPO Grand’s Pop Up Dessert Bar
What: For the 5th year running, GPO Dessert Bar will open next to the brand new Christmas tree in Martin Place. Visit the GPO Grand’s Pop Up Dessert Bar for a range of gelato, sweets, cakes, coffee, cold beverages and savoury options.
Why: Somehow it’s not potential diabetes and encroaching obesity when it has ‘pop-up’ and ‘bar’ in the name. It’s hip.
3) Ferris Wheel Dining
16th & 23rd December
What: The evening begins with a glass of sparkling wine in The Deck before boarding a private dining carriage on Luna Park’s famous ferris wheel enjoying spectacular panoramic views of Sydney Harbour and a full menu of gourmet fare.
Why: What better way to whet the appetite than rotating above a mercury infested sea in a pod trying to avoid looking at the couple directly above you who have decided this is the perfect time for a bit of dogging.
2) Rai Thistlethwayte: The Art Of The Groove
What: An intimate solo performance from one of Australia’s foremost multi-instrumentalist songwriters and lead singer of Thirsty Merc.
Why: “His song In the Summertime graces the opening credits of Bondi Rescue.” We can think of no better way to describe the style of this guy than with the insufferable heat of an Australian summer, peoples lungs filling with water dragging them down into the ocean depths, and chilled people in bikinis and board shorts who somehow find the whole affair relaxing and pleasurable.
1) Jim Jefferies The Night Talker Tour
What: With a monumental seven comedy specials; his own acclaimed sit‐com (Legit) and self-titled late show on TV; sold out arenas around the world and an hour-plus of brand new material every time he hits the road with a new tour, the The Jim Jefferies Show anchor is heading back to Australia.
Why: He holds the world record for most uses of the word ‘cunt’ onstage. He’s a bloody pioneer.