Top 10 Sydney Revelry On this week 09/12/2018
Breathe in deep and say hello to the sun. Stare directly into the sun. Without glasses. That ought to teach you yoga-misappropriating idiots a lesson.
10) You Wore WHAT On Christmas?!
What: Come and join in a LIT night of Christmas joy, singing and drinking dressed in something that you wouldn’t dare wear on Christmas!
Why: We’re not really hip to the current lingo of the young Insta-crowd, so we’re riding on the hope that at some point, a friendly arsonist will torch the place.
9) Different Drop’s Christmas Warehouse Open Day
What: On Saturday Different Drop will be opening up an amazing selection of their favourite wines, from Australia and New Zealand’s finest artisan producers for you to sample.
Why: We did wonder what the hell was so different about preparing to binge drink for at least two straight weeks to celebrate the magical story of an obese home-invader. But then we realised they used the word ‘artisan’. So your bank account will certainly look very different after this event.
8) The Blend by Chivas Regal
What: Guided tasting sessions in the Chivas Regal blending lab will allow you to learn about the craftsmanship of the Master Whisky Blender. Craft your own 200ml bottle of whisky, using a combination of floral, citrus, fruity, creamy and smokey flavours.
Why: An elegant change to your own regular attempts at alcohol distillation. At least this time if you go blind you’ll be able to cash in by seeking damages.
7) Arabian Night
What: An Arabian themed night held at the Odyssey. Featuring RnB, Arabian music and live entertainment.
Why: Give some sense of balance to your knowledge of Arabic culture that, as of this moment, is primarily comprised of Aladdin and fear-mongering.
6) Klub Ess Grand Opening
What: Klub Ess presents an ultimate Balkan experience, alternating DJ’s and live music. 5 live singers including Soli Band (a 6 piece band) as well as house artist Trubaci, all under one roof creating a Balkan fantasy.
Why: As long as you’re not the kind of person who fantasises about genocide.
5) MUSE Carnival Christmas Party
What: Roll up! Roll up! For this year’s MUSE Christmas Carnivale! With surprise entertainment and the finest array of food and drinks, the night will be one to remember. Cocktail dress required.
Why: Nothing says fat tuesday quite like a fat, juicy inflamed liver.
4) Rosé, Bubbles & BBQ
What: A Croatian yacht party on Sydney Harbour! Riot Wine Co is supplying Rosé, Bubbles and a BBQ partnering with The Yacht Social Club who will provide the DJ beats and party vibe. You literally need to rock up with bathers, towel and an inflatable and you’re ready.
Why: The weather is getting increasingly less predictable so make sure you plan ahead. Remember the last time there was a storm on a Croatian party?
3) Shania Twain NOW Tour
What: In celebration of Shania’s third consecutive #1 album – she brings her NOW Tour to Australia. Shania is a five-time Grammy Award-winner and the reigning Queen of Country Pop.
Why: It seems she’s still alive. Who knew? Yes, Twain is once again on tour. She’s “still the one”…the one out of many ageing remnants of the 80s desperately trying to cling on to relevance whilst they circle the inevitable eternal darkness.
2) Jim Jefferies The Night Talker Tour
15th & 16th December
What: With a monumental seven comedy specials; his own acclaimed sit‐com (Legit) and self-titled late show on TV; sold out arenas around the world and an hour-plus of brand new material every time he hits the road with a new tour, The Jim Jefferies Show anchor is heading back to Australia.
Why: He holds the world record for most uses of the word ‘cunt’ onstage. He’s a bloody pioneer.
1) Festival of the Sun
What: This Port Macquarie all-inclusive pop, psych and indie music festival is celebrating its 15th birthday with food trucks, free workshops, silent comedy, silent beats and good vibes.
Why: All the credit of saying you went to an indie music festival with a musical lineup so generic it can’t possibly challenge your intellect or sensibilities.