Top 10 Sydney Culture On this week 16/12/2018
Sydney, your hell fast approaches. The fiery heat, consuming that which has basically been burned to ash, spending eternity with the worst of your blood relatives. You simply can’t turn up without a present!
10) Polish Christmas Feast
What: Experience a Polish Christmas feast 2 days before Christmas!
Why: Fish in aspic (some kind of horrific meat jelly)? Noodles and cabbage? Sauerkraut? Beetroot? What part of those four dishes hasn’t got your mouth salivating?
9) Bizarre Bazaar Opening Night Party
What: A market cultivated from Sydney’s creative talent where local designers, artists and craftspeople sell their handmade work directly to the public. Buy something unique and wonderful for your loved ones this Christmas.
Why: Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a pair of earrings made out of dried chicken bones and poster paint.
8) Artist Talk with Hiroyasu Tsuri/TWOONE
What; Berlin-based Japanese artist Hiroyasu Tsuri (also known as TWOONE) will present an intimate artist talk, sharing stories from his recent residency in Antwerp, painting a mural at the Fries Museum in Leeuwarden (The Netherlands), and transforming a 100-year-old abandoned house in Longueuil-Annel.
Why: Berlin? Japan? Contemporary art? Memorise just three phrases that come out of this guys mouth and you’ll be able to seem intellectually superior at every upcoming party during the festive season and new year.
7) A Chin Chin Style Crab & Cray Cray Party
What: Join Head Chef Graeme Hunt as he prepares a mind-blowing shared feast guaranteed to bring out your shell-fish side. Let Chin Chin ignite the party vibes with a full gourmet tribute to gloriously delicious Sydney shellfish!
Why: Exactly what it sounds like. A degustation of some of the most horrifying-looking mini monsters of the sea. A night to ask: Who in the hell was the first guy to decide to pour garlic butter and lemon on this thing and put it in his mouth?
6) The Nightmare Before Christmas Screening at The Outdoor Bed Cinema
What: Jack Skellington is alive! With a spectacular 150 beds under the stars, Mov’in Bed is the biggest outdoor bed cinema in the world and surely the most comfortable one too. Blanket, pillows, glow side table…recline and unwind this summer whilst watching Burton’s Christmas classic The Nightmare Before Christmas.
What: We know, we know. It’s really Selick’s Christmas classic. But the thing is, people know Burton. What kind of a pseudo-disaffected popular hipster douche would you be if you threw around the name Selick?
5) Comic Vigilance
What: A night of defiant stand up comedy honouring those affected by gendered violence. Featuring: Nina Oyama, Sian Smyth, Jacinta Gregory and many more emerging talents.
Why: You have to laugh. No, really you have to laugh. Even as your insides shrivel with disgust at having to be privy to what is essentially one step above an open mic comedy night. It’s for a moral cause. So. You have to laugh.
4) Festive Arts Opening Celebration
What: You’re invited to the Festive Arts Exhibition Party! Featuring both local and international artists, the Gallery will host a range of diverse and exciting works.
Why: Pretend you’re able to stomach contemporary art whilst actually stomaching a quart of gin and fancy gourmet food.
3) Ferris Wheel Dining
16th & 23rd December
What: The evening begins with a glass of sparkling wine in The Deck before boarding a private dining carriage on Luna Park’s famous ferris wheel enjoying spectacular panoramic views of Sydney Harbour and a full menu of gourmet fare.
Why: What better way to whet the appetite than rotating above a mercury infested sea in a pod trying to avoid looking at the couple directly above you who have decided this is the perfect time for a bit of dogging.
2) Giant Gingerbread Train
What: Take the sweetest ride on a giant gingerbread train. The 4 metre gingerbread train and carriage combines over 1,000 kilos of gingerbread bricks, 500 kilos of lollies, 100 kilos of fondant, giant lollipops and candy canes, with oodles of cheery icing. Polyviou’s whimsical works of sweet art, festive high tea and pop-up treat store will delight adults and children alike.
Why: Yeah. Sorry to disappoint you, the first descriptive sentence is not a euphemism for a hot night with a sexy redhead. But don’t be dissuaded, this sweet ride comes with an extra treat you just can’t get with great sex. Diabetes!
1) Jim Jefferies The Night Talker Tour
What: With a monumental seven comedy specials; his own acclaimed sit‐com (Legit) and self-titled late show on TV; sold out arenas around the world and an hour-plus of brand new material every time he hits the road with a new tour, the The Jim Jefferies Show anchor is heading back to Australia.
Why: He holds the world record for most uses of the word ‘cunt’ onstage. He’s a bloody pioneer.