Top 10 Sydney Culture On this week 12/08/2018

Cock your pens, Sydney. By the end of this week you’ll be exhausted, drenched in fluids and suffering from severe chronic carpal tunnel syndrome.


10) Arja Välimäki: Ocean Forest Exhibition

7th-20th August

A direct mainline into the cultural intersection of Finnish and Australian culture via the one thing that that cannot be denied in either culture – the Ocean. Also probably racism. So…two things. “Through expressive application of thick acrylic paint, this body of abstract paintings explores my personal experiences as a Finnish migrant in Australia, especially my encounters with the underwater world and landscape, and my appreciation for the beauty of nature.” – Arja Välimäki (artist).


9) Street Paws Festival

18th August

Bring the one salvation in your life that loves you unconditionally, can never challenge your intellect by beating you at Countdown and so oft provides you a distraction from the vast emptiness of life…and give them a day they’ll enjoy for once. From “stalls dedicated to dog care, quirky competitions, training and medical advice, a photobooth and lots of freebies”; finally a day wherein your dog won’t have to block out the image of your nightly alone time with the TV weather girl by chasing its own tail. Yeah. They’re not AS stupid as you think.


8) Sydney Pen Show

18th August

No, unfortunately our computers have not yet lost the use of the letters ‘i’ and ‘s’ and this isn’t an exhibition of the delights of the village of Peins in the Netherlands. So put away your herring fork and gather up your finest writing instruments-cum-potential weaponry for the Pen Show is coming to Sydney. Come on. We all know it’s true. Writing with a quill and ink really DOES turn a fanfic into a novel.


7) 72nd Independence Day Celebrations of the Republic of India

15th August

Badhai Ho! Bet you’ve never heard of this one before. Consider this a way to balance the ungodly amount of Indian cuisine you shove down your gullet weekly, by shoving down, instead, a little cultural awareness in the form of a flag hosting ceremony, an address from the Indian Prime Minister and a day of colourful performances and light refreshments.


6) Libaas Eid Festival

18th August

A day of feasting, rides, and over 150 colourful stalls to celebrate the Islamic Festival of Eid-ul-Adha. Woops, forgot to specify. A family day of feasting…with over 150 stalls (to easily lose oneself and others in) and numerous rides (to easily create a distraction to enable you to escape your humdrum horror of a family life).


5) Jalan Bersama

12th August

Santi! Considering the fraught relationship lots of you guys have had with travelling to Indonesian cities…namely getting dead drunk…we bet you have heard that phrase before but we doubt you’ve ever been sober enough to separate the linguistic difference between an actual Indonesian word and whatever the hell the cab driver was trying to say. Regardless, it’s time you made somewhat of a recompense in the form of acknowledging Indonesian Independence Day sober. In the beautiful Botanical Gardens, a wholesome day of white t shirts, drinks, snacks and games will “brighten your day” and not require police intervention.


4) Hyatt Regency Sydney’s Signature Wedding Event

12th August

If you’re newly engaged or know someone who is, then this is the event for you.” Hold up, you gun-toting bloodthirsty maniac. By engaged we mean in the marital sense. And by that we don’t mean ‘married to your country’ – we mean married to some person you barely know for the purposes of investment, citizenship, and an all-encompassing fear of death. Enjoy a glass of bubbles and afternoon tea with your soon to be significant other in a ballroom on the harbour featuring the latest in decor and design and advice from the wedding experts.’s-Signature-Wedding-Event/0e50a3b0-9dd9-11e8-a7fe-5787bc7ecd7b


3) Writers Unleashed

18th August

3 days of author talks, book signings and a place where you can dump your worthless plot-draining kids – The Picture Book Writing Awards.


2) Moby Dick

9th-25th August

Call us Ishmael. That did come out more schizophrenic than we’d bargained for. Enter a 900-page novel compressed into a 90 minute stage production. Adam cook directs this “stripped back production (…) a vibrant, thrilling, transcendently energetic poetry and percussi(ive) slam. The haunting language and extreme physicality of this text is brought to vivid life by a cast of actors even more varied than the ramshackle crew of the novel“.


1) King of Pigs

1st Aug-1st Sep

One woman. Four men. Hold your horses, pervert. This is much less surreally (bestiality-related) sexual than you’re currently fantasising about. In fact, this is feminist realism via theatre at its rawest. A stage play of a woman and her power-play with four men. “Each glimpse we get provides a momentary view of a vast panoramic lie. It’s a lie every man tells himself privately but every woman lives with publicly”.

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