Top 10 Sydney Culture On this week 05/08/2018
Sort through your closet now, Sydney. This week is going to require outfit-changing schizophrenia of Sex and the City proportions.
10) South Coast Wedding Fair
Dum dum dee dum…it may be. But one of the very very very few advantages of being American – getting married in two hours by a coked-up Elvis – is not an option for us. So here it is. About 3 weeks of horror compressed into a handy concentrated day dose of wedding planning with 50 of the finest wedding suppliers, live entertainment, cake sampling and goodie bags. Speaking of concentrated doses, you might one to dig into the old sock drawer for this. It’s short but harsh.
Strap on that support girdle, you old broken-down dump of a human being. It’s time for your yearly attempt at appearing to yourself to be a healthy functioning human being. And, you know, theres a huge crowd of real runners to blend in with so no one will even notice that somehow you’ve actually started sweating solid globs of bacon fat.
8) Rate of Change Exhibition Opening
You can guess where they’re going with this one. But you’d be wrong. “Depth, perspective and temporality are reconsidered allegorically as progress, change and that which speaks to the dichotomy between dynamism and stasis representative of the contemporary moment. The exhibition takes it’s title from a branch of mathematics – vector calculus – in which the definition of a gradient is more simply thought of as a rate of change.” So…we’re going to take a wild punt here and say bring your smart phone. This mamma jamma is one hell of an Instagram opportunity.
7) Deafblind Film Launch
Huh? What was that? Distasteful? Perhaps. Technically apt? Of course. Clearly, we all need some way to balance the fetid concoction of impulses and fetishes we call our moral compass with small doses of revelatory awareness. Here it is, folks, on a silver platter. The launch of a new film about Deafblindness followed by a night of bush dancing…though…don’t ask us how exactly that’s going to work.
6) Delightful Vegan Festival
You might want to consider this your time to…balance that aforementioned greasy meat-based sweat with even greasier technically non-animal-based fare.
5) Torch Song Trilogy
All good things come in threes. But we’re honestly too lazy to pull two more warped conglomerations of truisms and idiomatic phraseology out our butts. So Harvey Fierstein’s doing it for us. In play-form. “Funny and poignant, Harvey Fierstein’s intensely personal collection of three plays chronicles a Jewish New York drag-queen’s quest for love, respect and a life of which he can be proud“.
4) Grape, Grain & Graze Festival
You filthy animal. Why deny it? “An afternoon of fabulous wine, brews, fine food and live music”. Okay, okay, you can wear a classy casual suit to this thing but honestly, would you really rather come off as an Orwellian analogy or just accept it and straight up come dressed in a giant disposable bib?
3) Aroma Coffee and Chocolate Festival
This’ll get your heart pumping. Though they accept no criminal liability for the phenomenon. Yes, ‘ward off the winter chill’ with ‘some of the Hunter’s finest baristas, roasters and chocolatiers‘. Over 80 stalls of coffee and chocolate in one smallish area. Diabetes, heart attack; two birds, one stone.
2) Sydney Underground Film Festival Program Reveal Party
Grease up those sphincters, Sydney. The Underground Film Festival is launching and they’re aiming right for the hole with the most…star power.
1) Jimmy Webb Tour
With his own friends and keys and credit cards. One of America’s greatest song writers – though in the current climate that standard has undoubtedly been warped in some strange manner – is coming back to Australian shores joined by Barnesy, David Campbell Kate Ceberano, Ed Kuepper and Ian Moss.