Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 30/12/2018

It’s been a long walk up the hill, Melbourne. We’re shoving you off.


10) Capital New Years Eve

31st December

What: 9th District, Phat Fridays & Tromba Latin Fiesta present to you, Capital NYE! Two indoor and outdoor arenas showcasing only the best RnB and Latin tunes paired with waterfront views and front row seats to where the amazing fireworks display will kick start your New Year’s with a bang. The evening will be topped off with live performers and everyone’s favourite: food!

Why: Cheers the fact that the most complex thing you know about Latin America is the word ‘Hamilton’.


9) Riva New Years Eve Party

31st December

What: Follow the sounds of the new world beach side to Melbourne’s most prestigious venue Riva St Kilda. Get ready to be mesmerised through an enchanted journey into the ‘White Wicked Wonderland’. Dress in white and get ready for a DJ lineup and a party vibe you won’t forget.

Why: We have to hand it to them. They have a point. Historically one tends not to forget about a bunch of people all dressed in white dancing around.


8) ANNA: Shed 9 Day Party

5th January

What: Untitled Group & Thick as Thieves present one of Brazil’s finest exports, ANNA, for an official Beyond The Valley 2018 side show. Brazil-born, Barcelona-based DJ, Anna is in high global demand, moving dancefloors around the world.

Why: If you’ve ever wanted the life-mirroring-art opportunity to scream ‘dude, this beat is sick’, then actually puke, this one’s for you.


7) The Breakfast Club: New Years Eve Skyline Party

31st December

What: An intimate open air rooftop rave on the top of St. Kilda’s tallest hill.

Why: Ah yes. Nothing says intimacy like forcing the entire surrounding area to listen to Dubstep because you don’t have the decency to confine your awful taste in music to a fully enclosed underground area.


6) Tramp Presents JUNGLE New Years Day

1st January

What: What’s a return to rave town without an all star cast of the best around? Tramp bar is holding a New Years Day Jungle-style rave. Regroup. Reboot. Toot toot.

Why: Come to think of it ‘Reboot’ is an apt way to describe the ‘rave’. Like a computer reboot. The same functions. Over and over. Interspersed with varying lengths of blackouts.


5) Enter The Void

1st January

What: Melbourne’s biggest New Years Day street festival – Enter The Void! DJ’s will block off Bourke St to provide yet another mesmerising experience of House, Techno, Minimal, Psy and Old school!

Why: They’ve got their branding right. We can’t think of a more appropriate name for a daytime outdoor house and techno party than ‘The Void’. Though…perhaps  we’re saying it with a slightly different intonation.


4) Neon Wonderland New Years Eve

31st December

What: Immerse yourself in a Neon NYE experience full of amazing colour at the Love Machine. With state of the art sound and lighting over 2 massive levels, modernistic design & mesmerising balcony views, get ready for the event of the year…. Neon Wonderland!

Why: And if the long overdue realisation of the incredible staleness of the club scene finally hits you, just remember it is a New Years Eve club night. Just sidle up to the guy in the corner with the dilated pupils and you’ll be able to score something that’ll definitely make you blind, if not also psychotic and anally incontinent.


3) New Years Eve LOOP Roof Rooftop Party

31st December

What: Celebrate the new year in style at Melbourne’s exclusive rooftop cocktail bar and garden oasis, LOOP Roof! Expect an Espresso Martini on arrival, unlimited tap beer, wine, spirits & soft drinks, substantial roving gourmet, premium canapé platters including dessert, Champagne flowing at midnight, confetti cannons and a rooftop view of the fireworks in a garden setting with hundreds of exotic species of plants.

Why: Nothing so exemplifies the cyclical horrifying boringness of life swirling beneath the distracting illusory flash of New Years Eve fireworks than the word ‘Loop’.


2) Let Them Eat Cake

1st January

What: Cake is turning seven! This festival is about starting your year celebrating the rite of enjoyment, the indulgence of life’s pleasures and an epicurean appreciation of why we were put on this earth. A music festival featuring art, cocktails, teahouses, gourmet seasonal food and drink, and a richly boutique feel.

Why: We’re not that well affiliated with many seven year olds, but we tip our hat to this one. Mainly because their future features diabetes, morbid obesity, a chronic heart condition, liver disease, and a taste for techno music.


1) New Years Eve on the Hill 

30th December-1st January

What: A 3-day (2-night) boutique music and camping festival for good-vibing, music-loving folk in the beautifully picturesque rolling Hills of South Gippsland with over 30 bands and performers, field games, street cart food, chill out areas, late night DJ’s.

Why: What says ‘fresh start’ more than spending three straight days sweating out beer in the same jean shorts?

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