Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 30/09/2018
Melbourne, you look sort of down. We know how you feel. This week we’ve not let up.
10) Prime Athletica Day Party
Gotcha. No, we’re not telling you to straighten up, fly right, eat kale and start pumping iron. We’re more fans of contradiction. So get drunk and eat and dance…inside a gym.
9) Woodsmith Official Launch – Equinox After Party
Relax. There’ll be no hard labour or skill involved here with a hammer. We’d never promote such unnecessary usage of limbs. But this event – an exhibition of tasmanian oak flooring followed by a drunken afterparty at the Equinox? Now. That’s just too damn interesting and really requires no justification.
8) Debbie Does Day Rave
A deep dirty abandoned basement and a girl named Debbie. Sounds like the knack have risen from the grave. Clearly, we’ve all done something terribly wrong for this to happen. So we might as well tell kale to go screw itself engage in day-drinking with music loud enough to annihilate more than two of our base senses.
7) Rising Stars
“World famous DJ Ray Isaac”. It’s not really surprising to us that we’ve never heard of him. We have not been an active part of the world for quite a while. But clearly he’s of value and he’ll be the soundscape for a night wherein you’ll dance and drink away your irrelevance.
6) Ned’s Night
You’ve been selfish for too long in this relationship. This night is Ned’s night. And you know what? He’s so unselfish he’s hosting a bloody spring carnival party at a famous outlaw’s old jail cell and providing whisky. Even when he’s selfish, he’s not selfish.
5) RUM, JERK, REGGAE
Does sound like a shopping list, doesn’t it? But Aldi is currently featuring liverwurst and patio furniture in their middle aisle, so you’ll have to settle for an evening celebration of all things Caribbean through jerk food, reggae music and cocktails.
4) ARTEQ ONLY
Well. It’s not a word, is it? Arteq. So clearly, they’ve not exaggerated in the title of this event. The finest house and techno music at the top of the blue diamond penthouse.
3) Pinot Palooza
Oh, kids. Just buy a ticket they’ll give you a glass. There’s no need to justify your addiction with the facade of pretentious wine appreciation. Everyone will be there for the same reason. And have all accepted that. Drink up.
2) CLOSET: Freddie Edition/Poppers Protest!
It’s a tradition around here to bring you an event that requires only it’s own description. “CLOSET returns to the Gaso – and this time we’re gonna bring out the poppers before they get banned! This month, our poster boy is Freddie Mercury himself – in homage to the much anticipated biopic of Queen Bohemian Rhapsody coming out next month.” We’ve nothing else to say. Attend this event.
1) Cher – Here We Go Again!
Oh, boy. We’ve never been advocates of the exclamation point. However, in this case it seems her tour managers have had the foresight to preemptively dictate how we should otherwise inflect the tour name in our heads. The pop icon and exclamation point enthusiast is back.