Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 29/07/2018

From the the creme de la creme of Cannes to the back-alleys of Berlin to the half-melted dredge of improperly preserved early 2000s snow…you’ll be getting your globetrotter fix this week, darlings. Just be sure to snake the hell out of the complimentary mini bar.


10) Local’s Music Fest

3rd August

Moral ambiguity. Lately you’ve been swimming in it. The tonic? A live night of local folk, ska and indie music all in the name of injecting Melbourne local youth with the fervour for passionate expression.’s-Music-Fest/d4587080-8f0e-11e8-8b65-f3b5b6d8a99e


9) Rick & Morty Dimension 35C

4th August

Feeling high on your own ego? Yeah. We know you are. And so do they. That’s why this Rick and Morty dance launch party is for you. Rick and Morty themed shots, Rick and Morty decor and visuals, free watermelons and the launch of an official psy-trance Cymatic Empire album. Of course, it does take a certain high level of IQ to fully appreciate this event. All are technically welcome. But most just won’t get it.


8) ALIA Records Label Launch

29th July

Home to Daniel Elia, Gradi, Dilara, DJ Iced, Eric Boavida, Pania & Kali, the ALIA Records Label is hosting a hell of a launch – a night of pure hip hop to not only showcase their unique vat of incredible talent but your own unique appropriation of drunken krump.


7) Ruckus SLAM

1st August

Slam. A dignified manner of expressing the socio-political climate – this is not. This is a night of irreverence. A night of drunken swearing via an untuned tuba, a night for seeing how many raw fish guts you can eat whilst reciting the pledge of allegiance via Star Trek’s Omega Glory episode. In other words: The anti-slam. Get RUCKUS MUFARQAS!


6) Love On Top by Baxter Crafted Vodka

4th August

Admit it. There’s no shame in pride here, lovelies. You’re a top. And so are they. A night of world class cocktails, breathtaking Melbourne rooftop views and the funkiest DJ set you’ll ever bloody your high-heeled feet to.


5) Chuckle Park Winter Camp

29th July

Camping. Sucks. But this one’s different, we promise. Laneway Bar is hosting a camp-themed celebration. Dark beer by the fire, smoke, free toasted marshmallows, fire roasted sausages, smokey the bear (distilled into whisky), ensuing drunken campfire singing in your squishiest beanies and boots. And…ACTUAL TOILETS. Camping. How it’s MEANT to be.


4) The MUST Cabaret Festival

31st July-14th August

What’s in a name? Oh, yes. The imperative. A two-week explosion of the sexiest, juiciest, artsiest cabaret Melbourne has to serve you on a grape-crammed silver-fishnetted platter.


3) Snow Patrol

2nd August

Scottish-Irish alt-rockers Snow Patrol have returned with their first new music in seven years. Yeah. It’s new. In the same way it’s ‘alt-rock’. You get the idea.


2) Katy Perry

2nd-5th August

Witness. That’s what the new tour’s called. Seems she’s learned something from the correlation between concert attendees and the dramatic local increase in the sale of earplugs recorded from her last live tour.


1) Melbourne International Film Festival

3rd-19th August

One of the oldest film festivals in the world is hobbling its way back onto the screens “to bring to you the story of the world through curated and unforgettable screen experiences.” And, of course, hundreds of contexts wherein you won’t have to figure out how to strap a secret whisky flask to your person without danger of spillage. In other words: it’s practically a film festival mandate to be buzzed 95% of the time.

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