Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 26/08/2018
Aged pop-rock stars; literary gods; Instagram soirees…oncomau presents ‘Melbourne: Life In A Bubble’.
10) That Old Chestnut Brown Launch
Ahh. Exclusivity in beer form. This is one usage of the contemporary ‘-only’ pseudo-suffix we can damn sure get behind. A keg-only release of the Old Chestnut Brown Ale will be your liquid pretension to host a night so high tone that it takes place in a bar on a Monday night that’s never open on a Monday night.
9) White Noise pres. Matt Sassari
One of the world’s pre-eminent house and techno artists – Matt Sassari – will be helming your farewell to winter with enough deep bass to shake that final post-winter glob of phlegm from within the deepest cavities of your soul and sinus.
8) Harley-Davidson 115th Anniversary Party
Violent union uprisings, racism-driven tariffs, pro-confederate leanings, crooked stock manipulation – if that doesn’t spell freedom on two wheels we don’t know what does. That’s right it’s the 115th Anniversary Party of the Harley Davidson motorcycle. So grease your inner thighs, holster your pipe wrench and get ready to deny the fact that you’re a middle aged sales manager.
7) Object Agency Exhibition Launch Party
Another of Melbourne Fashion Week’s fare is on the menu – though, obviously, it’s not an actual menu (there’ll be no unnecessary consumption of food here). Stop by the Masters Institute for the launch party of Object Agency – the details of which haven’t been exactly made explicit – but then again, it is a fashion exhibit. Come with as many synonyms for ‘experimental’ and ‘post-post-modern’ written on the inside of your wrist as you possibly can.
Well, if the promo photo for this is anything to go by, we really don’t believe you are ready for this jelly. However, there’s nothing like alcohol to inspire false confidence in your abilities. An all-night d.j. body drop featuring DJ Sezzo, Wahe, Slam Ross 1000 and D.J. Airhorn Mami; throw caution to the winds and surrender yourself.
5) Iridescent Instaglam Party
Remember all those times we’ve told you to secretly crack out your phone in order to pump up your Instagram? Well, this is one event that balls-out embraces the fact that the majority of us are image-obsessed vacuous failures constantly craving instant validation…sorry that’s insta-validation. Melbourne Central will be transforming into an luminous hub with a Shiny Balloon Land, a Holographic Beauty Station and an Intergalactic Nail Salon to wet your wildest Instagram dreams as part of MFW.
4) Hemingway in Havana
Hemingway. The one word in every language that requires no translation; meaning ‘I’m a ragingly lazy pseudo-intellectual who wants to intimidate you’. So, that in mind. Let’s get drunk…in Havana! Rum cocktails and champagne on arrival in a night of steamy Caribbean dance and merriment…and absolutely no in depth questions about the actual Hemingway.
3) Gene Simmons
It’s just sad at this point. …And there’s nothing more delightful than watching a sad broken down pathetic garbage fire of an old overrated rock star bumble his geriatric fat ass through an attempted comeback.
2) MWF Closing Party: You Are There
Well, you will be. The Melbourne Writers Festival is dotting its ‘i’s and crossing its ‘t’s in a closing party featuring readings from Ali Cobby Eckermann, Jessie Cole, Sophie Cunningham, Kate Holden, Mariam Issa and Maria Tumarkin, and a full musical performance by Megan Washington.
1) Beer Garden Cinema presents: Dem Basterds
Liquor? Film? Abuse of blood squibs? Read on, sicko: “Once upon a time in a basterd occupied bar…Guests were invited to do three things, and three things only: eat, watch, kill. When you’re going to hell, it’s a good thing if the chef is a devil”…“A rogue pickle, smoking cigar, charades and Tarantino“. Oh baby, you don’t even need to take our word for it. Settle yourself in the Beer Garden for an eve of film that’ll leave, at the very least, your conscience splattered.