Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 17/03/2019
We hope you heeded the warning to beware the ides of March. You’ll need to tap that experience to survive the rest of March.
10) Eforce at Inflation Nightclub
What: Let the force be with you in this night of hardstyle live DJing straight from the Netherlands.
Why: If there’s one thing we know about countries renowned for their nonthreatening nature and talent with small fish it’s their raging hardstyle.
9) Cumbia Cosmonauts Album Launch
What: The Cumbia Cosmonauts and The Radio Africa Band is the long-awaited second album by sonic explorers Cumbia Cosmonauts. An afro-futurist soundtrack for the dancefloor, a distinct take on cumbia and tropical bass that meets the ancient musical traditions of the West African griots. The vocals in English, Wolof, Yoruba and Spanish express life in contemporary Melbourne and Australia as we hear, feel, and live it.
Why: Think of it as the musical equivalent of ordering everything in a culturally diverse food court, eating it, than vomiting it out and recording the results.
8) Sriracha Warehouse Party
What: Experience a killer warehouse edition of afrobeats & good vibes only.
Why: We’re not ones to knowingly engage in cultural oversimplification and appropriation, but at least in this case we don’t have to feel responsible. That deserves a good celebration, no?
7) Novel, Untitled & Revolver Sundays present Denis Sulta
What: Denis Sulta has rapidly emerged as one of the most exciting new prospects from the ever-fertile Glasgow scene. A Sulta set is all about putting the ‘fun’ in ‘functional’, and you are as likely to hear a decade-old dance classic as you are an underground techno banger.
Why: Better get in quick. We’re not sure how abundant Scotland is going to remain in terms of cultural exports considering the current political sh*tshow.
6) Momo Fest
What: Momo Fest is the only event of its kind in Australia dedicated to glorious momos. With over 30 varieties of momos, it is a paradise for dumpling lover. There will also be a full spectrum of the most amazing entertainments ranging from live music featuring international and local bands, DJs, multicultural performances, roving performers, kids entertainment, workshops and momo competitions.
Why: Invest yourself in Nepalese culture in the only truly valuable way: fast food.
5) Miller Design Lab After Party
What: Want to kick on once the gallery shuts at Miller Design Lab x Buff Diss? When the main event wraps up at 10pm, the party will move to the rooftop bar at The Emerson for more music, dancing and beers with Alice Q and DJ Paz on the decks.
Why: An after-party for a collaborative new media space that solves the question ‘What the hell is the purpose of collaborative art?’ in the way that only liquor can.
4) Tokyo Tina’s 4th Birthday
What: To thank you for the good times, Tina is throwing the ultimate all-inclusive bday bash. She’ll be firing up the grills for street-side Yakitori, skewering birds of all breeds, slinging out baos from a dedicated bao station and a pouring up a stack of booze.
Why: Birds, baos, booze and resultant bowel obstruction.
3) Marchin Powder Discotekka
What: The Marchin Powder Discotekka is here! A party bringing you 8 hours of disco-vibed tunes to keep you dancing well into the night!
Why: Thought disco was dead? You were right. Consider this more like when you run an electric current through a dead frog. It’s somehow more animated and far more viscerally discomforting.
2) Meatstock: The Music and Barbecue Festival
23rd & 24th March
What: The carnival for carnivores returns to Melbourne for round three. Meatstock will be hosting some of the meatiest names in barbecue. The flaming hot, two day lineup includes competitions such as the ‘Barbecue and Butcher Wars’, as well as demonstrations and workshops. The event is garnished with a backdrop of live bands, BBQ inspired food trucks and craft beer from Yaks Ales.
Why: A festival ending in ‘-stock’ that instead of preventing violent deaths as a result of genuine war will result in a steep increase of obesity-related deaths as a result of a meat-based war. Pacifism clearly has its evils.
1) Melbourne Food and Wine Festival
What: Food and wine lovers in their hundreds and thousands each year indulge in bespoke events that fill Melbourne’s labyrinthine network of restaurants, laneways, lights-turned-down basements, dizzying rooftops as well as spilling into spectacular regional Victoria. The Melbourne Food and Wine Festival is all about supporting and cultivating the very things that make Melbourne – and the surrounding regions – a gastronomic playground.
Why: Eat, drink and make merry. Consume laxatives, vomit whisky and regret your lifestyle choices. Repeat.