Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 15/03/2020

The world is still spinning and so are the records. If the room is spinning, stay the hell home.


10) Flavour Fest

21st March

What: Discover a delicious blend of fiery, sweet and smoky sensations at Flavour Fest – A music & food festival celebrating community, culture and cuisine. Listen to sweet sounds from some of the best bands and enjoy tasty treats from Melbourne’s most popular food trucks and restaurants. Live music from Australia’s favourite bands. Live Cooking demonstrations from Melbourne’s best chefs. Alice in Frames (Masterchef contestant 2012) and TV personality. Delicious International food served from Melbourne’s favourite eateries. Sweet Alley. Brew Zone. Live acoustic music & DJ shows. Giant Ferris Wheel & Rides. Free kids crafts and interactive experiences. Fireworks finale. Fully sustainable event.

Why: Featuring one of three Masterchef contestants you will remember alongside that fat one and the paedophile.


9) Under The Lamp

21st March

What: Whether listening to a particular track or an artist’s performance, we’ve all had many moments where the construction of electronic music has connected with us, as well as connected us with others. Under The Lamp is a celebration of this musical construction and the local artists that are some of its finest examples! When the lights go out and the lamp comes on, watch as electro headliners Luke Vecchio & Le’bruh present their craft.

Why: For us we knew we had truly connected with electronic music when we were punched in the head by an EDM bro. What about you?


8) Massive 004

20th March

What: Stay golden bass freaks. It’s time once more to gather as one and release the rhythms of the night. Magic is brewing, a dance with destiny awaits. No matter your past we are all one in the same when the rumble of the subs consumes our body and frees the true expressions of the soul. A night of DnB, Jungle, Breaks and Bass.

Why: “A dance with destiny awaits” is one of the most creative ways we’ve heard a COVID-19 high risk event phrased.


7) Tokyo Love Hotel 2nd Anniversary

20th March

What: The past two years Tokyo Love Hotel has been home to some of the best emerging and established artists from across Asia, with memorable performances from Ken Ishii, Licaxxx, Mendy Indigo and more. This edition celebrates the diverse and boundary-pushing dexterity of their resident crew, who have made Melbourne their home from all corners of the globe. Celebrate their talent for a night of electro, house, breaks and, of course, techno.

Why: Just…don’t think about what’s actually happening in Tokyo.


6) Light+Life Party

19th March

What: Of all environmental factors, light and colour are the ones with the swiftest and most significant impact on our wellbeing. Light+Life features immersive light based installations, aiming to engage visitors in a multi sensory journey. A group of eight artists and designers, harnessing design capabilities to produce light based artworks, exploring how light affects us physically, mentally and emotionally Light+Life examines new ways of design thinking, employing the immaterial into shape and form, exploring paths to illuminate ideas. The show will display an array of works from meditative, through scientific to aesthetic, weaving light through narratives of life.

Why: Disclaimer: viral bacteria do tend to act as quickly as and far more impactfully than the colour blue or a penis-shaped light projection titled ‘Mummy’.


5) VIRUS: Public Order Response Episode 01

20th March

What: Known for their feverish delivery of the underground sound, VIRUS have delivered at every turn: warehouse parties that live in legend; outdoor events where nature sidles up to the sound; and bangin’ X-rated club nights. The Geezer is quite the geezer. With 25 plus years at the heart of the UK electronic music scene, he has released over 2000 tracks. With its rolling percussive ragga rhythm splayed out over a massive driving techno beat, his sound is killer. Now, fresh from sold-out gigs from Japan to Venezuela, The Geezer is on his way to Melbourne. Performing an uninterrupted three-hour live set, The Geezer promises to pick every pocket of your mind, inserting techno from the early days to genre-breaking latest releases. New to VIRUS? Been out of the loop? Expect to feel like you’ve been run over by a semi, spat out the other side only to be slammed by a steamroller and bounced back. Then repeat. Absolutely no limp hand-waving and foot tapping here – Virus is for the mentally, physically and emotionally locked in.

Why: Now this is how you market an event in 2020.


4) DUST. Festival

21st March

What: Dust is set to become Faces Of Group’s home to unique sounds, art and experiences creating an environment that allows the FOG family to leave reality seeking a place of self love and expression, a place of spiritual and emotional freedom. Welcome to the beginning of a very special event. Welcome to Dust.

Why: Funny. We’d have thought the current reality of self-isolation would lead to a sharp increase of vigorous self love.


3) Echo Beach Music Festival

21st March

What: Echo Beach is a fleeting feeling – hard to catch, hard to forget. It’s the place you remember vividly and grasp for, it’s the place you’d rather be. Echo Beach will make its home for a day in the industrial piers of Melbourne’s first port for a zephyr of seaside euphoria in a first of its kind EDM day party in Melbourne’s West. A day of sea breezes, floating surprises, sunset vista’s, music and art – Echo Beach is the perfect maritime carousing to imbibe in the year’s warm graces before the Oceans brooding swells whip up bitter winds and bring you into Winter’s clutches.

Why: They’re not technically wrong. A sweaty high fever isn’t what you’d call a cold grace.


2) Distrikt In The Park (Postponed)

21st March

What: Bringing a slice of the electric energy, debauchery and untold creativity seen at their day parties on the playa, DISTRIKT will transform Melbourne’s Burnley Circus Park into an outdoor wonderland for what is set to be an unforgettable day across the entire Parkland. Those who have attended the Burn will attest not just to the utter madness that goes on during DISTRIKT day parties, but also to the calibre of their music. Crossing the Pacific for their long awaited return down under, co-founders Ben Seagren, DJ Kramer and Paul Geddes will showcase that special DISTRIKT sound and take you back to those dusty hot days deep in the Nevada Desert.

Why: Proving true a lesson that we learned when we were preteens and needlessly rebellious; misspelling something makes it cool, mum.

Update: This event has been postponed. Such is life. And the potential lack-thereof.


1) Dreamland Theme Park Music Festival (Postponed)

21st March

What: Australia’s largest and only theme park music festival has returned! The Melbourne festival will take place inside the mouth of one of Melbourne’s most iconic landmarks alongside the picturesque St Kilda Beach, with a sunset that rivals any other! Expect multiple stages playing the best Electronic Dance Music, electrifying live performances and unlimited rides available throughout the park all night! Add to that bars, food options, and an open air silent disco and you have yourselves a journey dreams are made of.

Why: An EDM rave in a theme park with carnival food in the COVID-19 era. Never have the causes of vomiting been so varietous in a single event.

Update: This event has been postponed. Such is life. And the potential lack-thereof.

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