Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 01/09/2019
We’re pumping you directly into the underground. Discounts for every accompanying father with a blood alcohol content of over 0.15%.
10) A Midnight Visit
What: An immersive experience like no other – part choose-your-own-adventure, part performance, part playground, part sound world – with over 30 rooms to explore freely and a cohort of troubled characters to encounter on your journey. An ever changing dream inspired by the works and worlds of Edgar Allan Poe.
Why: Well, we do want to make a small disclaimer here; there will be no underage cousin-banging on the menu.
9) Groove Haüs’ First Birthday!
What: In celebration of their first birthday, Groove Haüs is going back to their roots with a straight up Haüs music party! They’ll be featuring all the OGs that have made Groove Haüs into the family you know and love. Featuring: Luke Vecchio, Archya, Funkwit, He Lo Co and many more.
Why: Nothing says ‘party’ like 19th Century bourgeois Germans.
8) Blackhearts & Sparrows Presents “Epiphany Beer”
What: This is an incredibly special event, bringing together four brewers – Two Birds, Co Conspirators, Molly Rose, and Dollar Bill – into one space to each talk about three very personal beers: their epiphany beer – the one that opened their eyes to great brews and inspired them on their brewing journey, their admiration beer – something they wish they made and their pride beer – one of their own brews that they’re most proud of. The best part of all of it? You – the attendee – get to try some of each of these very special beers while you listen to the stories about them!
Why: For the first time we’d have to disagree that the drinking of the beer is the best part. You’ll spend a night with people whose epiphanic experiences centre around alcohol, not Jesus, Kanye, Xenu, Dawkins or Kombutcha. That’s a rarefied delight.
7) Father’s Day Whisky High Tea
What: Bring dad in for an indulgent affair of sweet and savoury delights with whisky infused treats and a paired whisky flight. A truly memorable experience for flavour aficionados!
Why: A fathers day event that doesn’t require you to sow extra pockets inside your jacket to stash the thing that makes your father’s views on politics and race tolerable.
6) Father’s Day Boozy Brunch
What: Not sure what to get Dad for Father’s Day? How about a full Scottish fry up and a bottomless pint of Tennents? Enjoy an a la carte brunch menu as well as a 2 hour bottomless brunch with Tennent’s on tap and some live music added to the mix!
Why: This also takes care of next year’s gift. A liver transplant.
5) Straitjacket Fits Reunion Tour
What: Legendary NZ/Aotearoa songwriter Shayne Carter is reuniting both his trailblazing group Straitjacket Fits and left-field rock/soul project Dimmer for two exclusive Australian dates this September. Hailed in their day as “the greatest guitar band in the world” by UK rock weekly Melody Maker, Straitjacket Fits were international indie-rock titans in the late 80s/early 90s. Their back catalogue on renowned NZ label Flying Nun includes such indelible hits as ‘She Speeds’, ‘If I Were You’ and ‘Bad Note For A Heart’, three sublime studio albums and their flawless debut EP ‘Life in One Chord’.
Why: Mildly progressive, aggressively inoffensive, occasionally memorable. You know, New Zealand.
4) Direct Underground Fest
What: 2019 will see the return of the mini-festival, bringing together again some of the best and darkest bands in the heavy music realm. Soundworks Direct have created a lineup that aims to appease anyone that digests the extreme metal form! Featuring: Immolation, Abramelin, Christ Dismembered and Reaper.
Why: If you’re able to digest the extreme metal form without consequence, see your doctor. You might have worms. The kind of worms that floated across the ocean post-Chernobyl.
3) Drip World Festival
What: Australia’s biggest contemporary urban festival is finally touching down. Headlining the festival are US rapper Akon, Migos, Lil Baby, Rich The Kid and French Montana; joining them are Lil Skies, Comethazine, AMARNI, rising triple j Unearthed artists Ay Huncho and Sophiya and many more.
Why: Thought the relevance of rap and hip hop did not extend to the Australian context? You clearly failed to account for the proliferation of white people walking around with dreadlocks and a wildly misplaced sense of being ‘downtrodden’.
2) Fleetwood Mac 2019 Tour
What: Legendary, GRAMMY-award winning band Fleetwood Mac have announced an Australian tour which will feature the new line-up of Mick Fleetwood, John McVie, Stevie Nicks, and Christine McVie along with newcomers Mike Campbell and Neil Finn. The enduring spirit of Fleetwood Mac stands for an incredible body of great music that has connected with generations of people all over the world for more than 50 years.
Why: It’s that old philosophical conundrum. If you keep replacing parts of a boat at what point does it stop being the original boat? Well, who cares? You’ll never be able to afford a boat. Not when you keep pissing away money on Fleetwood Mac’s new lineups.
1) Melbourne Fashion Week
What: Melbourne Fashion Week takes over the city, celebrating the best in Australian fashion with over 150 events. As always, there will be be a whole host of fashion themed talks, parties and exhibitions taking place throughout Melbourne. This year’s focus is on sustainability.
Why: If you can sustain yourself for seven days on the nutritive content of errant fabric fibres, you gain free entry to the backstage oyster bar. There’s a reason why the written budget for this event is just one page with the word ‘irony’ on it.