Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 30/12/2018
Loosen your belt buckles, Melbourne. It’s mustard, beer, jam and cake for you.
10) Outdoor Cinema Overlooking Mt Buller
What: An outdoor cinema experience at Delatite winery. Watch one of the most iconic Australian films – The Castle – while sipping on delicious high country wines!
Why: What more apt way is there to appreciate the struggles of a working class family than cackling at their mannerisms while guzzling litres of expensive high country wine in the middle of a luxurious winery?
9) New Years Eve Party Mint-O-Mustard
What: Sit back celebrate the new year with fabulous food, drinks and entertainment at The Mint-O-Mustard NYE Party of the year! Witness the live fireworks show at the Waterfront with an unlimited Indian feast, drinks and roving kids entertainers.
Why: Also witness your toilet getting the beating of a lifetime the next morning after a night of booze and Indian food.
What: Bring in 2019 in 007 Style! Celebrate the night with dinner & champagne cocktail on arrival. Dance the night away with DJ Dan on the decks and a James Bond theme.
Why: Yes! Ring in the new year with a somehow still popular shoe-phone wielding sexist dinosaur from the 50s that should have been wiped from pop culture the moment the words ”the Fantastic Four” were published.
7) New Year’s Eve at Stomping Ground Brewery & Beer Hall
What: Celebrate New Years Eve with a huge 3-course Australian BBQ-style feasting menu in a beer garden.
Why: Then celebrate new years day with two full bottles of Prunelax and an emergency enema.
6) StoryVille New Years Eve
What: All the naughty Princesses know that at the stroke of midnight, the party is just getting started. Be a guest at Storyville this New Years Eve for a magical evening of letting your hair down at Melbourne’s fairytale-themed late night spot.
Why: We’ll be honest. Initially, we didn’t quite know whether this was a children’s event or an adult event. And then we found out. At least it doesn’t make us feel as uncomfortable as the time we looked up the word ‘Brony’.
5) Carl Cox Intimate Club Show
What: This NYE, the teams behind Shed 9, Eat Music & Kinetic are proud to bring you the current King of techno DJ Carl Cox playing a Space Ibiza set. The man himself has requested to play an intimate club show with the backdrop of a midnight fireworks display, live entertainment and a no holds barred club production.
Why: There’s no more apt way to celebrate the progression of society into the future than with a 56 year old man sweatily scratching a vinyl over the sounds of a music genre from the 80s.
4) New Year’s Eve at Iki-Jime
What: Champagne and caviar is Iki-Jime’s answer to a New Year’s Eve like no other. Ring in the New Year with an evening of pure, unadulterated indulgence. The celebrations will feature a bespoke 4-course menu, with a focus on pearls of caviar from local producer, Yarra Valley Caviar.
Why: Humanity teeters on the precipice of destruction due to a history of rampant environmental abuse and a mass mentality of pure gluttony. Well, as the song Auld Lang Syne endlessly repeats “for the sake of old times“. So cram your rich fast western ass with caviar!
3) Coastal Jam
What: A day of DJ music vibes, of leisure in the sun, rubbing shoulders with some of the world’s best artists, with an artisanal food and beverage offering and festival-level production amongst the unparalleled beauty of the world-renowned Lorne Coastline.
Why: Funny. We thought coastal jam was that thing that happens to your skin when you rub yourself against strangers who possess less than desirable attitudes toward hygiene.
2) Let Them Eat Cake
What: Cake is turning seven! This festival is about starting your year celebrating the rite of enjoyment, the indulgence of life’s pleasures and an epicurean appreciation of why we were put on this earth. A music festival featuring art, cocktails, teahouses, gourmet seasonal food and drink, and a richly boutique feel.
Why: We’re not that well affiliated with many seven year olds, but we tip our hat to this one. Mainly because their future features diabetes, morbid obesity, a chronic heart condition, liver disease, and a taste for techno music.
1) New Years Eve on the Hill
30th December-1st January
What: A 3-day (2-night) boutique music and camping festival for good-vibing, music-loving folk in the beautifully picturesque rolling Hills of South Gippsland with over 30 bands and performers, field games, street cart food, chill out areas, late night DJ’s.
Why: What says ‘fresh start’ more than spending three straight days sweating out beer in the same jean shorts?