Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 26/08/2018

Don your most pretentious tie and tails, Melbourne. For this week is all about appearances. And we’ll be judging you. Hard.


10) UX Australia 

28th-31st August

Okay. You knew this was coming. This your hit of pure, functional knowledge. UX Australia is a 4 day conference about user experience in relation to a website, an application, a gadget or a space that will, if nothing else, confirm to you that the entire notion of the user experience is as nebulous and reliant upon random chance as your colonic movements. But we won’t leave you with just that. It’s a hotel with a bar. It’s an experience in itself to see a room full of the type of person who would attend a 4 day conference about the user experience get progressively drunker on watered down hotel whisky. Kind of like that time you smoked a wrapper full of cinnamon in your friends basement thinking it was something else.


9) Melbourne Zoo Father’s Day

2nd September

Who doesn’t want to consume a two course gourmet lunch amongst the heady aroma of elephant butts and monkey sex? In a grand tradition of fathers day – namely wild disappointment – Melbourne Zoo is hosting a father’s day lunch. So pack your 80s camera, blindfold your father and get ready to cry into a post-lunch bottle of whisky. Because you’ll never be able to impress him. Never.’s-Day/4e232ff0-a98a-11e8-a7fe-5787bc7ecd7b


8) High Cheese

27th-31st August

It’s…not what it sounds like. But then again, maybe not spending 6 hours at your ‘friend’s’ house talking about the post-modern intricacies of roger water’s almost-mullet is a good thing. Nay, this is a play on high-tea we’ve all been waiting for. After all, what in the living hell is the point of a cucumber sandwich? An afternoon of liquor, cheese set in a venue that violently clashes with what’s going to be happening internally.


7) Harley-Davidson 115th Anniversary Party

1st September

Violent union uprisings, racism-driven tariffs, pro-confederate leanings, crooked stock manipulation – if that doesn’t spell freedom on two wheels we don’t know what does. That’s right it’s the 115th Anniversary Party of the Harley Davidson motorcycle. So grease your inner thighs, holster your pipe wrench and get ready to deny the fact that you’re a middle aged sales manager.


6) Blank Canvas Exhibition Opening

28th August

This is…one of the odder fare of MFW. But well worth a visit, we feel, if only to spur that childhood phobia of terrifying puppets to the surface where it can be dealt with in a manner befitting your Instagram. To hell with a psychiatrist; this one event will not only force you to face your deeply buried fears, but will provide you with the kind of validation your 200-an-hour judge-y alcoholic psych could never match in two years of therapy.


5) Indigenous Runway Project

2nd September

Striking off your cultural and Instagrammable quota for the week in one event? Damn. We’re really going all out for you this week. Indigenous fashion designers will collaborate with artists and musicians to create a 60 minute cultural experience sure to differentiate yourself from the Insta crowd for at LEAST 2.5 seconds. That’s got to be some kind of record.


4) Vogue American Express Fashion’s Night Out

31st August

Suit up, cravat up…look, up yourself in whatever the most ridiculous thing you can up yourself in, for it’s time to bid welcome to Melbourne Fashion Week and all its violently unstable attire. Featuring the moment of launch at noon, vogue activations and performances and runways.’s-Night-Out/7c439390-a988-11e8-a7fe-5787bc7ecd7b


3) MWF Closing Party: You Are There

2nd September

Well, you will be. The Melbourne Writers Festival is dotting its ‘i’s and crossing its ‘t’s in a closing party featuring readings from Ali Cobby Eckermann, Jessie Cole, Sophie Cunningham, Kate Holden, Mariam Issa and Maria Tumarkin, and a full musical performance by Megan Washington.


2) Duets: Kate Ceberano & Kaiit

26th August

Australia’s rising neo-soul star Kaiit and Australia’s treading-water X-factor judge Kate Ceberano will be breaking conversational bread as part of the MWF: a conversation for the ages sure to illuminate more than anything else, the necessity of a a government-funded over-40s course on urban dictionary.


1) Paul Kelly: Other People’s Words

29th August

As part of the MWF, Paul Kelly has written music to other peoples words for once, featuring the poetry of Emily Dickinson, Les Murray, Judith Wright, WB Yeats and more.’s-Words/3f975230-a98b-11e8-a7fe-5787bc7ecd7b

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