Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 07/10/2018
It’s a week of pathetic comebacks, Melbourne. We’re rubber, you’re glue. We’re both screwed when it comes to being exploited by Mariah Carey’s performative spanx.
10) Sun Bear Children’s Festival
Perceived as cute by the masses, but ultimately violent vicious little animals, children will once again be celebrating with an environmental festival concerning the preservation of the sun bear.
9) Melbourne Ska Orchestra TV & Movie Themes
Ever wanted to hear the greatest TV and Movie themes performed live by a…ska band? Okay, what if we told you it’s at the Night Cat and the worst something is sober, the more brilliant it becomes when drunk.
8) A Hitch To The Sticks
‘It’s way out in the sticks’. Who hasn’t heard that phrase and thought ‘I’m there!’. A weekend of some of the biggest names (including Kate Ceberano) in Australian music history set in an outdoor bar with food.
7) Melbourne Fiji Day
Fiji. Not just for getting arrested and observing exactly why white people should never get tight braids. It also has a delectable cuisine called Lovo – a banquet cooked in an earth oven.
6) Australian Immigration Short Film Festival
Get ready, Melbourne. For this is your weekly ignorance shedding. Featuring workshops and comprehensive discussions concerning capturing the unique experience of the immigrant story, it’s a brilliant way to feel incredibly awkward at your utter lack of awareness.
5) Seaside Street Food Festival
Okay, okay, it’s a slight contradiction in terms there. But who gives a damn? No one’s going to be talking. They’re mouths will all be stuffed with Melbourne south-easts best in food truck fare.
4) Andrew Stockdale (Wolfmother)
You remember Wolfmother, right? Well now that cacophonous soup of ultimately nonthreatening extremely marketable hard rock’s frontman is striking out on his own. When has that ever gone wrong?
3) Living Room Festival
No, it’s not what you delightfully term your lonely drunken nights dancing to the knack. You know you do it. It’s an outdoor music and light festival populated by the furniture you’d usually find in your living room. A porous sofa and low light lamps in the damp Melbourne outdoors? Wonder why no one thought of this ingenious idea before.
2) Oktoberfest at Blackman’s Brewery
Snap your self into those lederhosen, Melbourne. Everything’s ironic when you’re drunk.
1) Mariah Carey The Number 1’s Tour
We may live under a rock but it’s impossible not to know about this singer. Believe us. We’ve tried. But she’s loud. Very loud. So buy your tickets at your peril. Just remember. She’s had sex with James Packer. So…you know where her standards lie.