Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 06/01/2019
Close your eyes and feel the flow, Melbourne. Well…it’s more like diarrhoea. Coffee, gin and whisky do have their downsides.
10) New Moon Women’s Circle
What: Welcome in the New Year with the New Moon in Capricorn, which also brings with it a partial solar eclipse with a women’s healing and intention setting circle.
Why: Or save yourself the time, take a note from Gwyneth Paltrow and stick a stone up your hole. Then sue her. Sue Gwyneth Paltrow.
9) SÉANCE at Queen Victoria Market
What: Lights out, Melbourne. Don’t get too comfortable. The dead are rising. Tingle your spine in a 40ft shipping container of sensory deprivation wherein your perception of sound and reality is in the skeletal ghost like hands of…who knows.
Why: Well, just to be sure, you’ll want to double check with your lawyers that your inheritance is legally protected from all paranormal interference.
8) Syphon Coffee Experience
What: Learn all about this beautifully presented Japanese coffee brewing method. Light refreshments and some homemade desserts will be provided to accompany your Syphon coffee.
Why: So wax that beard and brush up on your synonyms, you even more ridiculously affected equivalent of an 18th Century fop.
7) Melbourne Gin Company G&T Pop-up Bar
What: MGC and Patricia Coffee Brewers join forces again to bring back to Melbournians a Summer pop-up bar dedicated to Gin and Tonic celebrating five G&T combinations including a signature “Patricia G&T” made with the Patricia house cold filter.
Why: It’s not a chronic addiction to a substance that annihilated England when there’s ‘pop-up’ in the description!
6) Flow: Episode 1
What: Held in the breathtakingly beautiful and iconic Scrap Museum venue of Bakehouse Studios, this event is an opportunity for all fusion artists to perform solos, group choreographies or stage improvisations ranging from Bellydance to ATS to Tribal, Indian, Persian and Greek Fusion styles.
Why: Yeah. Sorry. We know it’s contemporary dance and culture all at the same time but we promise, people convulsing in ridiculous outfits becomes hilarious when you’re drunk.
5) Public Whisky Class
What: Over the course of an hour and a half you will be guided through a selection of whiskies from all over the world by experienced bartenders while sharing in a charcuterie board.
Why: Liver disease and high cholesterol all in one? Where do we sign up? Sign up here.
4) Gabriel Iglesias – One Show Fits All
What: Gabriel Iglesias returns to Australia with his One Show Fits All World tour!
Why: We’ll be honest. We don’t much about this guy. But, hey, at least we’re not promoting Kevin fucking Hart. Not again.
3) Premium Tequila Masterclass
What: Discover the rich, beautiful heritage of Mexico’s agave spirit whilst sampling a carefully curated and varied selection from the Chachos bar.
Why: One of the most romantic ways to describe a liquor that can summon the police more effectively than a triple homicide.
2) Ratio Cocoa Roasters Behind The Scenes Chocolate Factory Tour
What: Discover the delicious secrets behind one of the worlds most ancient delicacies. Sample the best of the infamous cocoa bean and its many uses with Ratio Cocoa Roasters.
Why: What? You thought we’d forget about your weekly dose of diabetes? You have too little faith in us.
1) Sasha Velour Live
What: A 75-minute one-woman show lovingly created and staged by Sasha Velour, winner of Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 9. Throughout the show, you’ll be taken on a journey by your favourite high-fashion goddess through the unique, hyper-gendered queer fantasia that is drag!
Why: The most enjoyable method of giving your rich bigoted grandmother the violent aneurism you need to claim the inheritance.