Post Malone Tour (Sorry. The Tranquillisers Aren’t For The Audience)

Going postal.

It’s sacrosanct for a rap artist. And why shouldn’t he be angry? He seems to have been born with douche-bag literally tattooed across his face.

At least, we think that’s what it says.

It’s hard to concentrate with such offensively aggrandising and contextually nonsensical lyrics as “can’t trust a soul, like I’m Snowden” spurting out of his gold-plated mouth.

Post Malone is bringing his show to Australia and according to his publicists: “Post Malone stirs hip-hop, R&B, and alternative into his own sonic “sauce” that’s both intoxicating and invigorating.”

According to the man himself: “I describe what I do as sauce. You can turn up to it. You can chill to it. You can do anything to it. It makes you feel some type of way, or it makes you want to party. It just comes naturally.”

Ah yes. The mark of any quality piece of music is its comparability to a hot-dog garnish.

We’re not totally minimising his achievements.

It’s truly an astonishing feat to be the sentient manifestation of an STI.

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