Melbourne Revellers Weekly Top 10 24/06/18
Melbourne, we need to talk. Sorry, cork. Un-cork.
10) Winter Whisky Harvest
It’s harvest time. And you know what that means. Time to get plastered before those freaky-ass kids murder you. Luckily, one of Australia’s best known sommeliers is here to guide you through the finest whiskies and canapés from Melbourne’s hottest burger team on your well-appointed trip to the grave.
9) 419 – Stranger Things
Alas, it’s not the brilliantly crafted hit of nostalgia that has young viewers remembering with echoing heartache a past they never actually had. But it does involve those viewers. That’s right! A night of post-exam raucousness with one of the worst offshoots of a quasi-niche television series – the fans! But thankfully, on nights such as this, it is not in the nature of these creatures to talk. This is a night of base need and bass music. No words, no scruples, no spoilers.
8) Fireside Series Hot Club Swing
Get lit. In 1930s Paris. There’s likely a French equivalent of ‘get lit’. Come to think of it, there’s probably an English equivalent as well. Ah, c’est la vie. Swish your scarfs and turn those grifting hands to a vino because Jack Rabbit Vineyard is bringing you the finest in gypsy swing. Best keep the family jewels at home.
7) Project X
It seems, in this case, they’ve done the job for us. In the words of the sordid suckers themselves: “this is your once in a life time opportunity for you to experience the real f*cking Project X, that means, get smashed, gacked, bricked and mangled to your heart desires, we will have you wishing you could remember what happened the next day”. Descend into the underground bunker and rave until your feet are cracked and bloody.
6) After Hours
Why the long face? Oh, right. The world at large. Cry no more, for Horse Bazaar shall provide enough tinctures to let you sail the calm waters of slightly nauseated oblivion till the horrible, horrible morn. One dollar Japanese Fried Chicken will make sweet music with your bile duct while eight dollar Kakubin High Balls’ll help relax whatever shrivelled appendages you’ve been housing since ’06. Ah yes, and killer D.J lineups so you don’t even have to look at the boring S.O.B sitting next to -oh. Yeah, that’s a mirror.
5) Gin Company Winter Series
This week, you cannot escape the city of lights. Of course, you won’t actually be there, made perhaps more evident by those guys outside wearing stubbies, drinking from brown paper bags, their ass crack hairs waving gently in the salty harbour breeze. But Ru-Co Bar brings you a gin cocktail collaboration that’ll make you think you’re in Paris. And we assure you, your wonky attempts to speak French via Lady Marmalade will be just as well received as if you tried it in Paris.
4) Lay Low Launch
Sneak in through Brixton Pound and find yourself in the newest inner west speakeasy’s launch soiree. Lay low, kid. It’s gonna get hairy. 20’s style.
3) A Secret Place
Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone. Or do. It’s your prerogative. And frankly, this society needs to Glen 20 a little of its dictatorial odour. Connie’s got you covered – or rather – she’s got you naked, for this secret venue has no cover charge. You just have to make it on to her guest list. Come for jazz, come for cocktails, come quietly.
2) Cash Savage and The Last Drinks
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But fact is, these kids are f#*&ing savage. Celebrating the release of “Better Than That” from upcoming album Good Citizens, Cash Savage & The Last Drinks are your brilliant salvation from a cesspool of mediocrity.
1) Freedom Time Winter
On the dark side of the ‘drome you’ll find the second annual winter festival of sound and vision. Alongside Wax’o Dystopio, Butter Sessions & Music From Memory, enter a world of underground music machines, live art installations and liquid emollients so poisonously smooth, they’ll melt the fossilised shells around your post-work-karaoke ear drums.