Melbourne Cultural Top 10 Weekly 03/06/18

Keep lighters and matches clear. This weeks cultural consommé is highly flammable.


10) MoMA at NGV: 130 Years of Modern and Contemporary Art

6th June-7th Oct

The lens of the new through the potassium-filled worm-riddled eyes of the dead. You’ll want to gussy yourself up for this one and bring your slightly more stupid cousin because this exhibition hits the balance perfectly between artistic pretension and what has come to be known as the artistic bourgeoise. The emergence of the new spurs each of the 8 sections from Gogh and Gauguin to Dali to Pollock. Set ego to ‘ton’.


9) MindBodySpirit Festival

8th-11th June

White folks, this one’s for you. Finally! Learn from over 200 exhibitors, attend free inspirational seminars, book yourself a psychic reading, try some body pampering, watch the free stage performances, join a free meditation session and taste some delicious health food. You guys have probably got a new word for this type of thing now. Kidding. It’s only a new word for you.


8) Swan Lake on Ice

3rd-8th June

Escape the Melbourne cold and enter the Tchaikovskian freezer. The Imperial Ice Stars return to Melbourne with an “adrenaline-infused” Swan Lake, no doubt described as such due to the not unlikely possibility of the Swan’s beak being severed by an errant skate blade. Maybe pack your catchers mitt for this one.


7) Mulled Wine Tastings

1st June-25th August

Get mullered, Melbourne at The Block Arcade! There’s also a featured spice mix on offer to…cover up the smell.


6) Paris Cat Jazz Club

1st-9th June

It’s time you make your acquaintance with this club, kids, because the Jazz festival is leaving in about a week. Meet the alley cat it’ll leave behind.


5) Whisky Live

8th-9th June

Over two blurry but cultured days Melbourne will host Whisky Live and Fine Spirits, a touring event that will, for the first time, be introducing other spirits including vodkas, gins, rums and cognacs. Never has there been a more elegant way to quiet your ailing conscience, salve your rampant shortcomings and justify your chronic problem than this event.


4) The Naked Self

8th-17th June

A brilliantly honest and interactive piece of live art to dose yourself with. “In a gallery setting, you’re invited to hear the audio portraits of strangers, who reveal the stories and the secrets of their bodies. As an additional option, you can step into a private booth, undress and confess – contributing your own self-portrait to the growing archive”. You may want to experience it after visiting one of the more alcohol-infused members of our top ten this week.


3) Winter Wine Weekend

9th-11th June

Speaking of which, take the sea-faring route with all the requisite vices. At the Winter Wine Weekend, taste more than 200 premium wines from around 50 wineries, all whilst saluting some old lady hobbling around somewhere in the ol’ mother country. Finally, a still-relevant reason for the British Royal family to exist. Rule Britannia!


2) Whisky and Shine

2nd June

Ladies and gents, you’ll want to nix the high heels for this ramble through whisky town. Following a meet-up at the Whisky Den, a Japanese-inspired bar in the centre of Melbourne, you’ll visit two Melbourne distilleries. Flip the bird to the weak Melbourne sun. It’s about damn time for moonshine.



1st June-31st Aug

The Big Apple in the Bleak City. The everyday experience seen through the heterochromic eyes of Mel&NYC – that is – a mad explosion of theatre, dance, live music, degustation and performance.

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