Do it for Selfish Reasons at the Elton John ‘Farewell Yellow Brick Road’ Tour

Well, here we are again.

Being that it’s 2020, that phrase could refer to a great number of things. War, famine, Sabrina the Teenage Witch but this time she’s in hooker boots and has a pop song out.

But, in this particular instance, we are talking about a geriatric music icon’s farewell tour.

In our more cynical times we’ve always wondered why, no matter how awful someone was, their eulogies always contained nothing but pleasantries. But then we looked at the etymology of the word which essentially translates to ‘praise’, and we realised that it’s human to be afraid of death and feel incredibly guilty for our own infractions and that the eulogy is not a tribute to the dead but rather a comforting, selfish alleviation of fear for the living.

Enter: Elton John’s ‘Farewell Yellow Brick Road’ Tour.

Yes, in response to enormous demand, and hot on the heels of the incredible global success of the epic musical fantasy Rocketman, Elton-mania has reached fever pitch! 13 years after he played the city to a record-breaking 22,000-strong audience, Sir Elton John returns to bid his final farewell. Don’t miss your last chance to see Elton!

So let’s look at old Elton’s last low-bone-density shuffle around the world not as his final attempt to milk cash he doesn’t need out of fans off the back of his incredibly lucrative recent autobiographical film, but rather as a comforting hit of nostalgia for ourselves.

No matter how terrifying and scary our reality is becoming, we can always be confident in the fact that deteriorating faculties and incontinence will never prevent a pop star from whoring themselves out and, you know, Rocket Man is still an awesome song.

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