Top 10 Melbourne Culture On this week 20/01/2019
Do you give a damn about your reputation? Good. This week’s loaded with pretentious crap and unearned nostalgia.
10) UNZIPPED Exhibition Opening
21st January
What: Unzipped features pun-tastic miniature dioramas by Melbourne street artist Tinky who brings her humorous work from the laneways of Melbourne into contemporary boutique Lord Coconut in a titillating exhibition. The exhibition ‘Unzipped’ comprises tiny occupants that exist simply to amuse. Often finding themselves in questionable scenarios, each miniature character persists with a juicy adventure with unwitting wittiness.
Why: Like your grandmother’s Hummel figurines but less perverse.
https://on.com.au/search/events/UNZIPPED-Exhibition-Opening/03c7ec20-1ab4-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
9) Mad Hatter Tea Party
23rd January
What: Want to meet other young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer/questioning, asexual (LGBTIQA+) young people? High tea will be provided as well as live music and give aways! Prizes for best costume. Come discover your community.
Why: Or don’t. There is absolutely no reason for you to force yourself to engage with the kind of people who consider high tea anything more than an overblown misuse of cucumbers.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Mad-Hatter-Tea-Party/545908a0-1ab3-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
8) Taste of: Jakarta
24th January
What: Come join the fifth ‘Taste Of’ event during which will be featured some of the exciting young gun coffee roasters of the Indonesian scene. There’ll be ‘knock-off’ Beer Cans from the neighbours across the road, Moon Dog, and delicious, organic cold iced-tea from Chamellia.
Why: It’ll be a change in what we Australians usually consider to be a taste of Jakarta. We’re not the biggest fans of coffee, to be quite honest, but it sure does taste more pleasant than a prison sentence.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Taste-of:-Jakarta/db4cf830-1ab8-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
7) Cheese & Wine Tour
20th January
What: Join 1932 Cafe & Restaurant for an Art Deco cheese and wine pairing experience followed by a formal guided tour of Melbourne’s most renowned Neo-Gothic building.
Why: Nothing so mirrors the Neo-Gothic era of rampant poverty and child abuse than a cheese and wine pairing experience.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Cheese-and-Wine-Tour/73920ec0-1ab7-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
6) Burns Night at Highlander
25th January
What: Celebrate Robbie Burns Day with an introduction to Scottish culture, a few wee drams of whisky and a delicious 3 course Scottish dinner with a Sean Connery-esque sounding host and famous Scottish choreographer, Andy Howitt.
Why: Or just buy cheap whisky and watch some Frankie Boyle. No one. We repeat, no one. Should have to listen to a Sean Connery impression. No matter how drunk they are. It’s a matter of bloody consent.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Burns-Night-at-Highlander/c947cf00-1ab5-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
5) Art By Twilight
25th January
What: View Mirka Mora: Pas de Deux—Drawings and Dolls after hours for cool summer nights of art and live music featuring the Australian Art Orchestra (AAO) with an emphasis on improvisation.
Why: There’s no better way to experience art than in your peripheral vision whilst drinking.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Art-By-Twilight/8ee5c890-1ab4-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
4) Rainbow Serpent Festival
25th-28th Janaury
What: From a small gathering in a secluded clearing, to an internationally recognised, multifaceted weekend of dance, colour, expression and celebration, this is one of the best electro and psy-trance music, art and lifestyle festivals in the world.
Why: Just remember, kids. Don’t take drugs. There’ll be loads at the festival.
https://on.com.au/search/search?parentId=9aaa5060-19ec-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
3) Red Hot Summer Tour Ballarat 2019 feat. Chocolate Starfish, Richard Clapton, Diesel, The Living End, Joan Jet & The Blackhearts and Jimmy Barnes
27th January
What: The red hot summer tour is back featuring Australia’s favourite son Jimmy Barnes, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, The Living End, Diesel, Richard Clapton and Chocolate Starfish.
Why: Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? How bout six?
2) Beechworth Music Festival
25th January
What: Beechworth Music Festival showcases a diverse range of alternative music, acts and artists to allow you to indulge in the soundtrack of this weekend.
Why: Oh yes, it’s held in a former asylum. But don’t get your hopes up. The chances of a forgotten inmate being roused in a murderous rage by the interminable noise of a ukelele are slim to none. Even the clincally insane are too jaded to move themselves to care about contemporary music.
https://on.com.au/search/events/Beechworth-Music-Festival-2019/8687a190-19ed-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
1) Midsumma Festival
19th January-10th February
What: Midsumma Festival is Melbourne’s annual celebration of LGBTQIA+ arts culture and Melbourne’s diverse communities!
Why: Remember those bigoted geriatric relatives that still haven’t left your house since Christmas? Well, what a way to send those frigid freeloaders packing!
https://on.com.au/search/search?parentId=da6bc440-1929-11e9-b14f-a713526e5192
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