Top 10 Melbourne Revelry On this week 02/12/2018
Comb your hair and shave your legs, Melbourne. Aunt Meredith is coming and she’s bringing her goddamn guitalele. The more groomed you are, the less likely you’ll be a suspect in her violent guitalele-related murder.
10) Free Dope: Drum & Bass Warehouse Party
What: Free Dope’s focus is to bring Melbourne’s Drum and Bass scene together to deliver what has now become one of the biggest DnB parties in Australia.
Why: Join dark drum and bassists for all that encompasses surrendering your mind to mindlessness and tasting the colour of your kidneys.
9) Thick As Thieves present Solee
What: Normen Flaskamp (Solee) began producing back in 1999 and in 2006, his new alias Solee propelled him to new heights in the house and techno realm. The Junction will be hosting this act for a night of hot beats.
Why: We’ll admit, we didn’t know who this guy was. But after listening to a sample, we must admit it’s the best version of a live orchestra being thrown in a shredder that’s been hooked up to a synth we’ve ever heard.
8) Gin & High Tea at Brogan’s Way Distillery
What: Enjoy all your high tea favourites at Brogan’s Way Distillery including a generous selection of sweet and savoury items, and, of course, some of their signature gin cocktails.
Why: Gin. Cuckold’s Comfort, Mother’s Ruin, Ladies Delight, Strip Me Naked. If there’s one thing that art from 18th Century England proved, it’s that a town half-gripped by the hell-storm of addiction and half-gripped by high tea is quite the delightful affair.
7) St. Hotel Day Party
What: Unique Events presents the freshest international DJ artists Sidney Charles, Miguel Campbell, Sirius Hood and Kyle Watson whilst providing a visual experience & focus on gourmet style street food.
Why: Why? The inherent paradox of a company branding itself Unique whilst ‘discovering’ the most prescriptive day party schematic about 10 years too late.
6) Polyamorous Cocktails in Fitzroy
What: Connect with likeminded poly-curious others as Elina and friends (burlesque aerialists), twirl and invert on poles and perform an intriguing celebration of burlesque, athleticism and eroticism in a bar with a lush, elegant interior that channels the Moulin Rouge in Paris.
Why: It’s a whole new world, Melbourne. A terrifying, horrifying new world. So plug your ears, close your eyes and screw your living, loving brains out with any thing and everything you can. A night of polyamorous exploration. A night to stick it to reality.
5) RockThatBoatParty Summer of 2018
What: Set sail at 1PM from the Docklands with Melbourne’s finest, all congregated on one VIP exclusive party boat that fits 350 people with unlimited free drinks, live DJs, a dance off and an exclusive after-party on dry land.
Why: Think of it as an opportunity to live out your youthful fantasy as a drunken weapon-wielding pirate with all the cowardly comfort in the fact that the word ‘Somali’ does not feature in the title.
4) Quench Rooftop Pool Party
What: Taking place at The Pool Deck – A hidden rooftop rising from the concrete jungle of Melbourne’s CBD – harnessing the fire of the southern sun comes a new LGBT+ day pool party! A day of quality music combined with lavish beverage offerings in a sophisticated and inclusive environment for all.
Why: Featuring the amazing talents of skin cancer.
What: LUFT is a boutique one-day event focused on powerful sound, tasteful art and delicious food with multiple stages hosting DJs, food trucks, markets and art installations.
Why: Nothing so defines the term ’boutique’ as a day featuring the most basic schematic for a tourist trap so common it could’ve been spit out by a malfunctioning computer from the 90s.
2) The Kevin Hart Irresponsible Tour
5th & 6th December
What: Kevin Hart is bringing his widely successful and massively hysterical ‘The Kevin Hart Irresponsible Tour,’ to Australia in 2018 and will perform 360º in- the-round – a first for a stand-up comedy tour of this scale.
Why: Yeah. The guy responsible for such comedically genius performances as Ride Along, Get Hard and Ride Along 2 is going on the road without the aid of a distractingly exorbitant Hollywood budget. You don’t want to miss this.
1) Meredith Music Festival
What: A 28-year-old three-day outdoor music festival at the “Supernatural Amphitheatre” in Meredith. A naturally occurring amphitheatre hosting an eclectic line-up of song-writers, electro-samplers, folk-singers and indie rockers.
Why: What’s better than attempting to enjoy contemporary music? Doing it in a ditch getting eaten alive by bugs and with a very hazy idea of whether there are functioning toilets in the vicinity.