Emerging Writers – Sharpen Your Quills; Wear A Cup

…Because if you’re going to try to survive in the dystopian cannibalistic wasteland of corporeal book publishing, you’re going to at least need to protect your genitals.

This week will see Australia’s largest gathering of emerging writers.

Apart from Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Snapchat and Pinterest.

It may be a festival limping along with a cane and one gangrenous foot, but on the upside you might be able to go to this event without being explicitly told to kill yourself whilst a stranger does unspeakable things to your overweight mother.

Because real writers know how to imply suicide and vicious murder-rape.

So, come, writers, editors, publishers and literary performers! Get an insight into the current world of literature and publishing and mingle with the general public!

…There’s nothing the general public wants to experience more desperately than a slam poet being lynched by a bankrupt publisher and an editor with fifty years of experience who’s just been rejected by BuzzFeed for the fourth time.

 

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